


Stuck

by SamanthaM_M



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, COVID-19, Childhood Trauma, Coronavirus, Current Events, Damerux, Eventual Happy Ending, Gingerpilot, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Modern AU, mandatory quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23652334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaM_M/pseuds/SamanthaM_M
Summary: Armitage Hux and Poe Dameron are coworkers but definitely not friends. They get stuck in a quarantine facility during raging coronavirus pandemic. Can they make it work?
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Armitage Hux, Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Comments: 107
Kudos: 70





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by current events happening in my country and Europe in general  
> Please, bear with me as I understand this situation is extremely difficult for many people and this is my way of coping  
> Hope you'll enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux.

“I’m telling you I need to get out of here immediately. I don’t know if you can understand…”

“Sir, please. I must ask you to calm down. This is a mandatory procedure.”

“But I don’t even have any symptoms!”

“I know, sir, but the quarantine is now obligatory for everyone who returns from Italy…”

“Fuck this shit.”

Armitage Hux kicked into the table leg but complied with the officer’s commands and returned to the waiting area. Gods, how he hated Heathrow airport. There he saw Poe Dameron sitting nonchalantly with his legs crossed and not having a care in the world. Hux would die before saying it out loud in fear of reprimand from the infamous HR but he despised Dameron more than any other employee of the company. The fact that they couldn’t enter back into the country after the two week business trip they were forced to go on together was just a cherry on top.

Overall their work trip was crowned with success and the negotiations went as smoothly as possible. Armitage hated to admit it wasn’t only due to his strategic thinking but a lot of the achievement could be assigned to Dameron’s endless charm that seemed to be very popular with their Italian clients. He could very well fit into the Italian scenery with his black curls and tanned complexion. Nevertheless Armitage’s opinion of the man hasn’t changed – he still couldn’t bear his flaunting and his overly flamboyant personality was driving him nuts. His disapproval of the ridiculous circumstances was more obvious than he thought because when he sat down again Poe looked at him with raised eyebrows. He didn’t say anything though – he learnt better than to irritate his short tempered partner.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think this stuff will sort out in a matter of hours. You must know they have to take all precautions. That new virus is spreading really fast,” Poe said as he scrolled down the tablet screen with a concerned look on his face.

“To hell with the bloody virus… I need to get back to the office,” Armitage grumbled quietly.

“What you need right now is a shower. Those hours on the plane didn’t exactly add to your personal appeal.”

Yeah, remarks and comments similar to this one made Armitage dislike Poe to no end. It was not a sense of humor that made Armitage Hux the successful businessman he was but Poe Dameron could easily win over the cold stone hearts of their competitors without so much as breaking a sweat and Armitage could not easily forget that.

***

The prolonged wait in an airport lobby area drained Armitage of what little energy he had left after the long flight. He tried working on his laptop but the airport Wi-Fi was unstable and slow and so he put it away instead of risking smashing the damned thing to pieces. Dameron didn’t seem to be as affected by the uncertainty of their current predicament but the weariness was starting to show on his face too in the form of dark circles under his eyes. It took a couple of hours until the police officer he was talking to earlier came back to them. Armitage couldn’t see his face under the protective mask but things didn’t look too hopeful. Before anything else the officer handed him two flimsy face masks and he had to wake up Dameron, who had fallen asleep in what looked like the most uncomfortable position on Earth.

“Please, put these on, gentlemen, take your luggage and follow me. You will be escorted to the assigned state quarantine facility.”

“We will be what?” Poe jumped up, suddenly very awake.

“The prime minister announced it an hour ago at his press conference. Every person coming from high-risk countries has to undergo a two week quarantine in one of the state facilities.” Although he was trying to be polite it was clear the policeman was growing more irritated so Armitage hastily put on the face mask and Dameron did the same. He then grabbed his bags and followed the officer.

“You surely did turn into an exemplary citizen on a whim. Did I miss something?” Poe was short on breath as he tried to keep up with his taller coworker.

“I watched the press conference on my phone. They are taking every step possible to slow down the contagion – we cannot avoid the quarantine now if we don’t want to end up in jail later. And I’d like to stay virus-free, thank you very much.”

Armitage tried to give the impression he was just annoyed at the inconvenience but deep inside he was starting to get frightened – he hoped the prime minister made the state of affairs look way worse on purpose in order to scare people into actually staying in their homes and social distancing properly. Because if he didn’t then the situation was pretty grim indeed.

***

They were escorted to buses waiting outside the airport by several police officers along with other poor souls who just came back from vacation in Italy. Armitage appeared to be very calm and collected but he was never one to argue with the authorities when matters got really serious and plus he was way too tired to yell at anyone. So he complied with every order he was given by a soldier guarding the bus – hand disinfectant, disposable nitrile gloves, filling in a survey, checking his temperature… When he passed the procedure, he found himself sitting on a bus headed to an unknown ‘state facility’. Poe sat next to him, too tired to fool around and he swiftly fell asleep with his head on Armitage’s shoulder. And this time the usually angry ginger didn’t mind. Or at least not too much.

***

A very loud bang woke Armitage up after what seemed like a several hour drive. The bus stopped in front of an abandoned military building. He looked outside the window and couldn’t see anything but mysterious figures emerging from a thick fog. It took him a couple seconds to realize that he was not in a nightmare but rather just seeing soldiers and doctors, wearing full PPE, approaching the bus. Scared voices echoed everywhere around him – the bus was full of elderly people and young families – he and Dameron were the only young men there. With a tight knot forming in his stomach he thought of an article he read earlier that day – the new virus was more dangerous for older people. Armitage got so distracted by what was happening outside the bus that he completely forgot Poe was still sitting next to him. He was also staring at the scene in front of them with eyes wide open.

„Everyone who was cleared already, please follow doctor Nasfir here and go straight to your appointed accommodation. Do not, I repeat, do not take your masks off under any circumstances until you are alone in your room. You will be given more instructions later on.“

It was the stern voice of a soldier that made Poe snap out of the haze and get off the bus. He was handed some papers he signed without reading (which later turned out to be a problem) and tried to find Hux in the general chaos. He’d managed to catch a glimpse of someone else’s conversation and found out that the place was a former military academy residence hall waiting for renovation and was now used as an emergency quarantine facility. It wasn’t until he’d gone through another round of medical checks and signed some more documents (which he, again, didn’t mind reading) that he met with Armitage again. His face was unreadable under the mask but he’d recognize his tall figure and ginger hair anywhere. Poe tried to give him a reassuring smile but then realized Hux couldn’t see his face either. His mind was still hazy from the flight and all the conundrum at the airport so he simply did as he was told. It was only as he entered a small room with nothing but two beds and the door closed behind his back that he understood what happened. He turned around to see Armitage, now without the mask, angrily staring at him. They were locked in the quarantine together and were supposed to spend two weeks stuck in that tiny dirty room.


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Armitage begin their quarantine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me, am I crazy for writing this? Who the hell knows  
> #gingerpilot

„This cannot be happening. Tell me this is not true.“

Armitage looked like he was about to bang his head against the wall while Poe watched him with amusement. Hux was a very uptight man and their predicament must have thrown him off track. Now that he had a breath out Poe was able to take a new stance on the whole situation. The state ordered quarantine surely caught him by surprise but it was probably for the best regarding their own health and safety. To distract himself from Armitage‘s angry mumbling and complaints, Poe decided to study some of the informational pamphlets he was given.

„It states that we are supposed to stay here until they are able to test us for coronavirus,“ Poe said to Armitage but when he looked up he saw the other man sitting on the bed cradling his head. He wanted to say some words of encouragement but he remembered how Hux snapped everytime Poe tried to talk about non-work related things. That guy had some serious personal issues, Poe was sure of it.

It was never clear to Poe why Armitage despised him so much. They’ve been coworkers for a couple of months now and while Poe’s work relationships with the rest of their department were warm and welcoming, he could never get anything more than reserved professionalism from Hux. To an outgoing person like Poe it was a mystery and it hurt his pride a little. He was used to being liked by everyone but with Armitage he hit a cold hard wall of inaccessibility.

He decided to explore their miniature quarters instead. The bathroom wasn’t much cleaner than the rest of it but Poe was happy to find that hot water was running just fine. But it was the last positive thing he discovered – the tiles were dirty, greenish mold was spreading across the ceiling and the sink was cracked. The room itself wasn’t in much of a better state but at least the bed sheets were clean. It was a step down from the comfortable hotel room he inhabited during their business trip. Plus, in the hotel he didn’t have to share space with Armitage who was now sitting behind the chipped table trying to get his laptop to work. It didn’t seem he was having any luck with it.

„Great. Just great. There is no wifi here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get any work done while I’m here,“ he growled at the computer. „You don’t appear to be too bothered by this, Dameron.“

„I’m not happy about being locked here but I see no sense in complaining either. Don’t be such a pessimist, Hux. They’re doing this for our own good.“

„I’m simply being realistic. Not everyone can survive on that silly attitude of yours.“

The level of disdain in his voice surprised even Armitage himself. He opened his mouth as if to apologize but Poe already knew his pride wouldn’t let him. He was right as Hux turned away to look at his phone, the only sign of being ashamed for his harsh words was that his ears turned red. Poe found it so amusing that Armitage’s pale skin gave away all of his feelings that he couldn’t even be mad at the man. He found it utterly hilarious. A sudden knock on the door interrupted further thoughts about his new roommate.

„Good evening, Mr. Hux and Mr. Dameron, am I right?“ a voice muted by a face mask asked.

„Yes, it’s correct,“ Poe answered and stepped closer to the door. Even Armitage put away his phone and listened.

„Great. I’ll leave the dinner in front of the door – you can take it after thirty seconds. Leave the tray and dishes outside when you’re done, we’ll come and collect it later. Do you need any items like toiletries or clothing? We can help you with the most basic stuff or you can ask your relatives to send you what you require. Same goes for necessary medications or other items.“

Poe mentally checked his luggage but everything he could possibly need was already there thanks to his previous stay in Italy. He looked at Armitage but the other man shook his head too.

„No, we’re good, but thank you,“ Poe shouted hoping they could hear him loud and clear.

„Awesome. If you’d need anything, write it on a piece of paper and leave it outside. No alcohol though!“

„Can you tell us when we will be tested for that new virus?“ Armitage joined in, slightly annoyed that he had to yell through the closed door.

„You’ll be notified when the tests arrive but it might take a couple of days as we are short on equipment and under-staffed at the moment. Also the sick and elderly will go first. If that’s all from you, I have to go now.“

„Sure, thanks for everything.“ Poe heard a clattering sound as a heavy tray was put on the floor and then receding footsteps. Armitage headed straight to the door but Poe stopped him.

„Hey, they said we must wait for half a minute at least.“

„Okay, have it your way,“ Armitage threw up his hands and started walking around.

Poe would laugh at his skittishness if the circumstances weren’t what they were. Hux proved himself to be difficult around even in the professional environment and Poe couldn’t imagine how the forced physical proximity would affect their behaviour. He swallowed hard – even if he ever desired to get to know Hux better, it surely wasn’t in conditions like this.

More than a minute passed already so Poe tentatively stepped outside the door and picked the tray up. While outside, he peeked around and saw armed guards at each end of a long corridor. So no point in trying to defy authorities and run away, he thought to himself. He didn’t mention it to Armitage though because he didn’t think it would add anything good to his already fragile mental state.

„Wanna know what’s for dinner?“ Poe tried to sound as cheerful as he could but the fatigue started to take over him. Armitage stood up to investigate the tray – two portions of meatloaf with boiled potatoes, disposable plastic cutlery and two cups of lukewarm tea, all wrapped in a thin protective sheet.

„Disgusting.“ That was all Hux had to say about the food.

„Hey, it is what it is. This is not a five star hotel. I’m sure they’re doing everything they can.“

Poe wasn’t sure why he’d defended whomever prepared that unappetizing meal. Maybe it was the way Hux said it that irked him. Anyway, he didn’t feel like tasting the dry meat or cold potatoes so he just unpacked his hastily packed suitcase. Poe now regretted not paying more attention to it back in the hotel but he hoped he would be unpacking in the privacy of his own apartment and not under Hux’s disapproving glance. By the time he finally found the toothbrush and pyjamas in his messy bag the other man already lied down on one of the beds and covered himself with the thin blanket. Without a ‚goodnight‘ Poe turned off the lights and went to sleep too.


	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

The sound of running water made him want to pee. He always hated the effect it had on him but he couldn’t help himself – someone turned on the faucet and he had to use the toilet. That would be if the bathroom wasn’t occupied by his unexpected roommate. Poe sank back into the mattress and looked at his watch – it was just 6 am. He never really had a chance to learn because he always strategically planned their work meetings for afternoon but he guessed Hux was a morning person and not a night owl like Poe. The water finally stopped and he could hear shuffling around. When the bathroom door opened, Poe closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He didn’t know why he did it and felt stupid while he furtively watched Hux move around and get ready. It shocked him to see that Hux was wearing a pair of black boxer briefs and nothing else. He surely didn’t suspect Poe was actually awake otherwise he wouldn’t be so relaxed about revealing his body in front of someone else.

Poe knew that if Hux realized he wasn’t fast asleep he would get furious and yell something about privacy and sexual harassment yet he couldn’t help himself but stare. He would have never thought he’d find Hux’s lean figure so intriguing but here he was gazing at his chiseled muscles and freckled skin. Poe almost mentally facepalmed when he saw the man put on his work clothes and a dress shirt – this was definitely not the place to get dressed up but he just assumed that if it made Hux feel better about himself, he wasn’t the one to question his odd routine. Hux made his bed with such pedantic precision that Poe almost burst out laughing but he didn’t want to blow his cover. He continued watching quietly as Hux sat down on the only chair they had and started reading the book he brought. Several minutes passed and Poe concluded it was safe for him to actually get up when he noticed a slight problem. Nothing unexpected, yet very not welcomed when sharing a room with an unfriendly person like Hux. Poe tried to breathe it out but something must have given him away because Hux averted his eyes from the book and looked straight at Poe’s erection stretching the thin blanket. Poe immediately regretted lying on his back as it made his morning wood even more visible but to his surprise Hux didn’t react and just turned his attention back to reading. No part of his face or body turned red this time and it made Poe suspicious – shouldn’t such a fussy person as Hux be at least slightly ashamed when unexpectedly faced with somebody else’s arousal? There was no time to dwell on this though as he really had to get up. He basically ran to the toilet to relieve himself and then took a long and nice shower. Finally refreshed and fully clothed he came back to the tiny room only to find out Hux opened the window and made Poe’s bed with the same perfectionism as his own. This left Poe utterly perplexed as he couldn‘t figure out why would Hux do something like that for him when he obviously hated him.

„If you don’t mind...“ Hux said almost apologetically. „I hate mess.“

„Yeah, it’s okay, thank you,“ Poe blabbered out, totally staggered by the sudden change in Hux’s behaviour. He didn’t have the man as figured out as he originally believed for sure. Still pondering over what just happened Poe sat on his bed and waited. He now regretted not bringing a book or anything to kill the boredom with him on the trip but he could never focus on written words long enough. Trying to read the news on his phone proved to be ineffective as a distraction because the reports on piling deaths from Covid-19 didn’t help. The loud growling in his stomach signalled it was time for food so the familiar knock on the door felt like a salvation. He glanced over at Hux but he didn’t seem to be interested in anything as substantial as breakfast so Poe once again took the tray in and put it on the table. The contents seemed a little bit more promising this time – the coffee was steaming and eggs didn’t look too rubbery. Even the bread was fresh which was a total win for Poe.

They ate in a complete silence. Poe would like to chat, even a stupid small talk about the weather outside (the sun was shining bright as if mocking them) but Armitage showed no sign of being willing to engage in a conversation. He wasn’t a talkative person and Poe got scared that he might have to spend two weeks without speaking. With a sinking stomach he counted many other things he wouldn’t be able to do during their forced stay here – no work, no exercise (he couldn’t imagine himself doing yoga in that tiny room) and no other company than Hux. If he was a religious person he would have started praying at that point but his bleak thoughts were cut short by Hux’s voice.

„Are you going to finish that?“ he pointed to the rest of Poe’s breakfast.

„No, you can take it if you want, it’s okay.“ He pushed the half-empty plate towards Hux who ate the cold eggs with such appetite that it shocked Poe given how Hux didn’t even touch the dinner last night.

“I grew up eating meals from a military cantina.” The nostalgic expression on Hux’s face quickly faded though as if the memories he recalled weren’t all that pleasant. Poe just stared at him with eyes wide open so Hux went on. “My father was a commander. I was born and raised on a base similar to this.”

Poe didn’t know what shocked him more – that Hux started talking on his own or the fact he revealed something personal about his life for the first time. The strict military upbringing surely explained a lot about his weird manners. Growing up in such a joyless place must have left marks on Hux. Poe watched Hux dig into his eggs with a new interest. Maybe they could get to know each other and get along after all. Poe sipped his cold coffee and pondered about how to get Hux to talk more.

“If you don’t mind, I need to make a phone call,” Hux said suddenly. Poe looked up and shrugged his shoulders – he didn’t mind Hux talking on the phone next to him, he already experienced it many times while they were working together or in meetings. Hux turned his back to Poe as to give himself at least some sense of privacy.

“Hello, Andrea? Yes, this is Armitage. I don’t know if you’ve seen the news… yes, exactly that. Yep… Have you received my email? Oh, that’s great… How is she doing? Is she fine? Okay. Please send me daily updates. If anything changes, take her to doctor Thompson immediately. Yeah… just make sure she’s fine for me, okay? Thank you so much for everything. Sure. Bye.”

Poe pretended to be fascinated by the spider rudely hanging in the corner but he was listening closely, wondering who the hell Hux could be speaking to in such a worried and thoughtful voice. Maybe some elderly relative? Perhaps his mother? Poe never heard Hux talk about his parents, he didn’t even know if he had any siblings, but then again, Hux never spoke about anything else than work results, productivity and Excel files. Poe needed to satisfy his curiosity or his head would be full of conspiracy theories.

“Sorry for disturbing you.” Hus turned to Poe with an apologetic look. “I needed to check on Millicent.”

“It’s fine. I never expected us to just sit here for two weeks without speaking. Anyway,” Poe started, hoping his question wouldn’t get Hux mad. “Who is Millicent? You’ve never mentioned her.”

“Millie is my cat. I got her from a shelter a couple years ago.” A genuine smile spread across his face and that surprised Poe even more than the fact that Hux not only had a pet but he was capable of loving any other being other than himself. The disbelief in Poe’s voice must have been really strong because Hux unlocked his phone, stepped closer and showed him a folder full of photos of a ginger stray. Her fur had the exact same shade as Hux’s hair and for some reason Poe felt something warm near his heart even though he was more of a dog person.

“She is a cutie,” Poe said and he meant it. The smile on Hux’s lips was still there and the warmness started spreading everywhere in Poe’s chest slowly filling his entire body from head to toes.

***

The rest of the day dragged on in a grey haze of dullness. Hux tried to get the internet running again but to no avail so he took to calling everyone in their department to inform them of his prolonged absence from the office. The nice feeling Poe felt that morning disappeared as soon as he had to listen to Hux yelling at their HR representative for 45 minutes straight. Hux always kept mentioning how much he hated HR people but Poe suspected they hated him even more. Once again he berated himself for not bringing something as essential as earplugs but it never occurred to him he would need them. Luckily Hux didn’t snore because that would make Poe climb up the walls. He spent the remainder of the day by staring at the wall interrupted only by arrival of the tray with lunch (mashed potatoes and sausage) and later dinner (beef stew - Poe started to believe this place was actually a purgatory for vegetarians). Hux has fallen back into his hostile quietness and there was nothing else left for Poe to do than stare some more at the ugly spider and then slowly drift off to sleep.


	4. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

Poe couldn’t sleep that night. He blamed the old and dusty mattress and also the fact that he napped during the day which always meant he wouldn’t sleep when he was supposed to. Interestingly enough he noticed Hux wasn’t asleep either – he could hear him toss and turn as if he couldn’t find the right position. After fifteen or so minutes of fruitless rustling Hux let out a deep sigh and Poe had a feeling he retorted to just lying there until morning came. Poe gave up. He figured out there was no point in trying to fall asleep again at 4 am so he stood up to turn on the light.

“Don’t!” Hux’s hoarse voice sounded almost like a shriek, like a painful plea for help. Poe slowly returned to his bed trying not to hit the table. He felt like Hux needed him at that moment.

“Why don’t you want me to turn it on?” he asked softly. Hux was breathing erratically and Poe thought he either had a nightmare or was just not coping well with the quarantine.

“Because it reminds me of…“ He started but didn’t finish the sentence. “Never mind, it’s none of your goddamn business, Dameron.” This angered Poe as he was not willing to put up with this sort of shit for the upcoming weeks locked in quarantine.

“Listen Hux, we’re in this together whether you like it or not. If you’ve got issues you’ve got to tell me now or we’ll both go mad before they let us out of here.” The words came out way louder than he intended and Poe suddenly realized he was standing in front of Hux, his chest hovering just inches from Hux’s white face. Poe couldn’t recognize the other man’s expression in the dark but he could hear the change in Armitage’s breathing. A wave of shame flooded him – he was acting like an idiot.

“I apologize. I’ve never been good around other people. Just forget about that.”

Poe was so shocked to hear Hux say this he just sat down right next to him disregarding his personal space. Hux flinched at their closeness but didn’t say anything, didn’t move away.

“It’s not just about the stupid light. I don’t care,” Poe rubbed his face aggressively, trying to find the right words to express what he felt. “We need to cooperate somehow to survive this.”

“Survive? I’ve been through worse…” Hux muttered inaudibly, almost as if he was talking to himself and not to Poe. This left him shaken to the core – when he thought that Hux needed to sort out his personal issues he didn’t expect him having a full blown panic attack in the middle of the night. It was not something Poe had experience with – he’s never been in a situation as absurd as this. But there was no way around it and he couldn’t ignore Hux and his actions.

“I’m sorry for whatever happened to you… but I can’t leave you alone. Not here. I have nowhere else to go and neither have you. So we have to share – we must deal with this together.” Poe reached out to touch Hux’s shoulder but he pulled away, covering himself with a blanket. His entire body was shaking, was it the cold or the anxiety attack Poe couldn’t tell. Tension was practically radiating off of Hux’s body like some toxic sweat. If this happened with any other of his friends or family members Poe would give them a long and tight hug, stroke their hair and tell them everything was going to be okay. But Hux made it clear he didn’t want Poe touching him and Poe didn’t dare crossing his boundaries after he’d seen how quickly Hux snapped. He tried to come up with something supportive and encouraging but his mind was blank and unresponsive. Poe never felt so helpless before. All of this was alien and new to him, Hux even more so. It turned out Poe knew absolutely nothing about the man.

“If you don’t mind… I think I’ll try to go to sleep again,” Hux suggested after a minute or so of the two of them sitting awkwardly next to each other in complete darkness not knowing what to do or say.

“Yeah, sure, me too. Good night.” Poe moved to his bed and pulled the blanket over his shoulders following Hux’s example. He knew very well that he wouldn’t be sleeping after what just transpired between them. Poe listened to the loud silence spreading and occupying the small room like an alien, aware that Hux hadn't gone back to sleep as he could hear his muted sobs and hated himself for not being able to do anything about it.

***

Poe fell back asleep quicker than he anticipated and the next morning he woke up late and with a terrible headache. The events of the previous night floated in front of his eyes but he knew it wasn’t a dream; that those words were really said out loud. And the reality of it hit him like a raging bull. Looking forward to popping the aspirin he so cautiously packed for their business trip Poe got up and saw breakfast lying on the table already and Hux sitting on his bed in the same stiff position as yesterday, reading his book. He didn’t even look at Poe so he decided to ignore him too and pretend their odd conversation didn’t happen.

It was just three days since they left Italy but it already felt like an infinity. The ever-present stubble on Poe’s face turned into a full-grown beard in the meantime which made him wonder how on earth had Hux managed to keep his face clean shaven all the time. With a groan he pulled out his toiletries – if he was about to run out of shaving gel soon then he would have to accept the beard. Poe spent way longer in the bathroom than needed, scared of facing Hux in the limited space of their room. He pressed his forehead pulsing with pain against the cold surface of the cracked mirror above the sink. The coolness of it helped with the ache but it did nothing to dissipate his worries that he and Hux were heading into another conflict – and much worse this time.

When he finally found the strength to face Hux and get through the day he saw the man working on his laptop already – the lack of proper internet connection apparently couldn’t stop him from filling in a report regarding their work trip. Poe’s work ethic was usually outstanding as he loved his job but he wouldn’t even think about working in conditions like these. Since Hux seemed to be busy with Excel and PowerPoint, Poe decided to make the best of his temporary home and finally unpack his suitcase into one of the narrow wardrobes. There were only two hangers there but he came to a conclusion that he wouldn’t be wearing his work suits anytime soon so they could stay packed and under the bed. He put a cup with toothpaste and toothbrush on the edge of the sink but didn’t dare to take out more personal things. Not that he had any – he didn’t pack much apart from clothing and basic necessities and didn’t buy any souvenirs in Italy. There was no wife with kids nor a girlfriend waiting for Poe, no one who’d missed him while he was stuck in the godawful quarantine facility. Laying on his bed he thought if it was the same for Hux – he didn’t wear a wedding ring and never mentioned a woman (not that Poe expected someone as obnoxious as Hux to be in a loving relationship). Which was a pity because Hux was really attractive with his tall figure and soft hair… Poe’s thoughts took an unexpected turn and he had to stop himself before wandering into further reflections about his coworker’s appearance.

Not wanting to disturb Hux who seemed to be doing some actual work, Poe played Candy Crush on his phone most of the day, then watched some Youtube, thanking his service provided for the unlimited data package. Yet no matter how hard he tried or how many Instagram stories he watched Poe wasn’t able to forget what happened last night. The mystery that was Armitage Hux was driving him mad and he didn’t like it. After finishing his report Hux returned to reading his thick novel – its pages were yellow and worn down, it without doubt must have been his favorite. Poe wasn’t as lucky to simply entertain himself by reading and he grew tired of playing on his phone. It was already after dinner time (another tough meat this time accompanied by dried rice) when Poe had a saving thought – he carried no souvenirs from Italy but he bought a couple bottles of high quality local wine as gifts to his friends. They surely would understand there was nothing else left for him to do but to drink them. He took one out from his suitcase and triumphantly put it in the middle of the table.

“I do hope you have a screw opener for that,” Hux observed without showing much interest.

The sad truth dawned upon Poe – he had nothing to open the bottle with, not even one of those dubious methods he learnt in college. So his last escape from having to actually interact with Hux was out the window. His expression must have been really pitiful because Hux stood up and put something next to the bottle – a Swiss knife with built-in screw opener. Poe was left speechless – he never marked Hux as a survivalist type of guy who’d carry a knife around with him but then again Poe also didn’t suspect that Hux was a cat person. Poe rinsed the two disposable plastic cups and poured wine for both of them. It sort of felt like a blasphemy to drink this particular wine from such cheap vessels but Poe wasn’t too prone to mind details such as these when all he wanted was to relax a bit. He frowned when he noticed Hux hasn’t even touched his cup. That wine was way too good (and expensive) for that snob to not even taste it.

“You know it’s not poisoned, right, Hux? And no, I didn’t spit into your cup either so drink up. Drinks are on me tonight.” Poe moved the cup towards Hux and raised his own as to tease him.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Hux reluctantly closed the book but not before carefully marking the place where he finished his reading. Poe rolled his eyes – that guy was so ridiculous it almost hurt. Hux was about to take a sip but he stopped abruptly. “Do people still say cheers when drinking wine? I’m not much of a drinker…” he said in an apologetic tone and Poe barely restrained himself from adding ‘and not much of a talker either’ but he managed to stop himself before offending the man.

“Sure. Cheers, Hux.” Poe lifted his cup once more and winked at Hux. This time with the desired result as Hux’s cheeks turned pink and Poe very much liked that. They enjoyed the exquisite wine in silence for some time, taking small sips of the delicate drink, and some of the tension hanging between them disappeared. Poe was delighted to find out that alcohol had a very interesting effect on Hux – his eyes were brighter, his body posture more relaxed and more approachable overall. Poe could feel some of that unidentified warm feeling from before crawling into his heart again but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was or why seeing Hux like this did the strangest stuff to him. But one thing was not so positive – not even two cups of wine gave Poe the courage to talk about their encounter from the previous night. Before he could muster up enough spirit to bring it up Hux’s head started falling and Poe decided not to disturb the precious moment of agreement and save the unpleasant questions for another day.


	5. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

It was unusual for Poe to go against his instincts and not to support Hux, not to push on and question him until he’d got answers. He was so used to plunging head first right into everything without thinking first that constraining himself from doing that felt unnatural. But Poe knew if he did this to Hux, he would probably explode and destroy whatever little peace that existed between them. Poe was an outgoing and open person – Hux was the exact opposite. Sooner or later their personalities had to clash in the thick atmosphere of their forced quarantine.

Poe woke up at 4 am– it almost felt like it became a habit by now. He checked the time on the phone and pressed his face into the pillow, hoping to get some more sleep but he heard a weird noise that woke him up earlier coming from the bathroom. One quick glance at the second bed told him it must have been Hux. Poe got up and listened closer – it sounded like retching and vomiting. It took him only a moment of hesitation before he entered the bathroom worried that Hux might need help. Poe saw Hux lying on the floor in front of the toilet – he’d clearly been throwing up.

„Hey, are you alright? Do you need me to get you anything? I could call for help,“ Poe suggested as he crouched next to Hux, trying not to sound too distressed to let on how much he was actually concerned. Hux looked like a corpse, even paler than usual, with big black bags under his eyes and irregular breathing.

„Leave me the fuck alone, Dameron.“ Hux tried to hush him away but his voice was rough and full of pain.

„This is that stupid wine of yours..“ He didn’t have a chance to add anything to it as he leaned over the toilet and threw up again. Poe sat on the cold tile floor next to him. He felt so powerless in a situation like this – he’d never thought two glasses of wine would be too much for Hux or that he would get so sick from alcohol. Poe felt like a complete idiot, blaming himself for forcing him to drink. Hux said he wasn’t used to it so Poe should have guessed that even the small amount they had would get him too drunk to hold it in.

„I’m so sorry I made you do it... but you’ll feel better in the morning,“ Poe said in a vague attempt to make up for the hangover he gave Hux despite every cell in his body screaming what a colossal idiot he was and that his useless words would not make things right. Poe was relieved to realize Hux stopped vomiting but he was still leaning against the toilet, his long legs stretched across the floor in an uncomfortable position. It was now or never for Poe. He reached out and put his hand on Hux’s shoulder, slowly massaging the tensed muscles. The reaction that came from Hux caught Poe totally off guard as the taller man crumbled and collapsed into his arms, head pressed against Poe’s chest and whole body shaking with poorly suppressed cry.

Again – it felt just natural for Poe to wrap his arms around Hux to bring him closer, caressing his back with one hand and slipping the other one into the ginger hair. Poe felt a little guilty for being so selfish to press his face into those soft locks. He’d always been curious if it was as nice as it looked and he was right.

„I’m a wreck. I shouldn’t have done it...“ Hux said after a couple minutes of silence. „So you just got a little drunk, god, it’s not that bad. It happens sometimes,“ Poe noted as he kept nuzzling Hux’s hair. Its smell was intoxicating to him and he just couldn’t stop even though he very well knew it was inappropriate in this situation.

„No, you don’t understand, Dameron. I’m a failure and this serves as yet another proof of that.“ If Poe wasn’t concerned already those words would get him there. Why would Hux, an exceptionally successful and reasonable man, consider himself a failure? Or was it just the alcohol talking?

„I don’t believe you’re a failure... just think of all the great stuff you did at work. The deal with Italians wouldn’t have landed without all your effort and you know it.“

„That’s nothing,“ Hux chuckled weakly.

„I failed as a person... I can’t even hold my liquor.“ Poe could feel his head slipping down again and hot tears soaking the front of his t-shirt. Poe’s heart hurt so much it nearly exploded. He hated suffering in any form and although he and Hux were never particularly close it was excruciating to watch him in a state like this. He wanted to let Hux know he was there for him if he only asked Poe for help.

„He would be so mad if he saw me like this.“ Hux spit out those words bitterly as poison. “Who would be mad at you?“ Poe asked, not understanding yet.

„My father – he’d mock me for getting drunk. He’d yell at me for being weak, not being ‘a proper man‘ in his eyes.... to him I’ve always been a disappointment... a weakling... a coward. Never good enough, never strong enough, just never enough. It has always been like that with him, my entire life, him telling me that I would never become anything because I was not enough to his standards.”

Poe didn’t know how to react to that. First information about Hux’s family and he learnt his father was most likely an abusive bastard. Not at all what he expected – Poe’s relationship with his own father had always been great, though they have not been in touch as often since he moved to the UK.

„You’re not weak, Hux. You’re just a bit drunk and that’s my fault,“ Poe whispered into Hux’s hair. „It doesn’t matter what anyone says... I think you’re pretty strong.“

„How come so?“ Hux lifted his head from Poe’s chest and he suddenly missed the pressure and warmth near his heart. „Well, three days locked in here with me and you haven’t bitten me yet. Imagine what would Millicent say about that,” Poe said with a fake cheer in his voice, hoping a mention of his beloved pet would make Hux feel a little better or at least calm down.

„She’s a cat, Dameron. She would just sit there, stare at me and beg for more food,“ said Hux matter-of-factly and he was right. Sadly for Poe he indeed felt strong enough to stand again and he did so, leaving Poe with this weird feeling of emptiness when Hux wasn’t resting next to him.

“I should probably clean myself. If you excuse me. I really need to brush my teeth.”

Reluctantly, Poe stood up too and nodded. He’d been stretching Hux’s patience long enough now and he needed to give him some space to collect himself. Poe really hoped they’d continue their conversation once Hux was done cleaning himself but he fell back asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

***

There was nothing else to do so Poe stared at the dirty ceiling once again though he was sure he’d lose his mind if he had to spend another day like this. Hux slept through most of the day, only waking up to use the toilet and drink some water, but he still didn’t even look at Poe. Not knowing whether it was the room itself or Hux’s mood affecting him but Poe didn’t have any energy that day – he barely got up to do the most basic stuff such as brushing his teeth and then went back to bed. Had he been outside he would exercise or take out his bike to dissipate those grim thoughts but in the small room there was nowhere to escape from the questions swarming in his head like flies. Something was itching at the back of his brain and he couldn’t figure it out, couldn’t quite grasp why he felt so anxious. Hux was a mystery and Poe didn’t like those but the man was too difficult to deal with. Poe’s straightforward approach wouldn’t be sufficient to get Hux to open up and talk – all Poe achieved so far was that he got too drunk to hold it in and the shame Poe felt made things even worse.

In a desperate attempt to get rid of the stress, Poe resorted to an activity he was very familiar with - masturbation. He’d spent many nights alone since he left the US and moved to a new country and this became his copying mechanism and a way to unwind. Poe made sure Hux was still sleeping so he would not accidentally disturb him, got in the shower and turned the water on. He usually didn’t need much to get himself going – his imagination proved to be the best source of inspiration for such activity. This time it turned out to be his worst enemy as all he kept seeing when he closed his eyes was Hux’s naked body, his freckled skin and ginger hair, all pressed against Poe’s chest and that strange warmth spread everywhere and he craved it more and more. Trying to shift his attention to something else was pointless – the smell of those luscious hair filled his every brain cell and Poe groaned as he tried to purge these images out of his mind but it wasn’t working. He suddenly pulled too hard and cried out in pain, slumping to the bottom of the shower. Remorse was replaced by burning anger. Who was Hux and how did he dare to invade the most personal aspects of Poe’s life and mind? Despite taking a shower literally just a minute ago Poe felt dirty and violated by the idea of Hux touching his body and him enjoying it. It’s been their fourth day in quarantine – ten more to go. Poe got out of the shower and dried himself off, wondering how much longer he would last before going mad but he wasn’t willing to admit that Hux got too deep under his skin.


	6. Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make things clear - I AM going crazy.

Poe lay next to Hux, hugging him from behind and the sensation of his raging erection pressing against Hux’s ass sent shivers down his spine. Hux turned around _‘do you need help with that?’_ and leaned closer. _‘No, don’t do it’_ Poe pleaded but Hux’s face lit up with a cruel smirk – his eyes were wild and hungry and drew Poe in like two black holes. He reached down into Poe’s underwear and stroked him with a firm hand. Poe moaned once, twice and he came almost immediately. He tried to keep his eyes locked in with Hux’s burning look but as the orgasm rushed through his body he closed them shut and this was the moment Hux was waiting for – he kissed Poe and he kissed back, moaning into his mouth as if there was no air in the room…

His eyes snapped open. Poe was still in the tiny room with Hux, lying in his bed alone while the other man stared at him with disapproving glare while holding a coffee mug. The breakfast tray was on the table in front of him – it must have been past 8 am then. Hux side-eyed Poe as he sat up and ran his hand through sweaty hair. His pyjamas were totally drenched and the intensity of the dream left him exhausted even more than before he went to bed.

“Must have been a nice dream, Dameron. You’ve been trashing in your bed for at least fifteen minutes.” It should have made Poe happy that Hux started talking to him on his own but the taunting was even worse with the disgust Poe could clearly hear in his voice. He sighed – they weren’t making any progress, it was two steps back for every step forward. The vision still stained his mind though and he wanted the traces of it to be gone. Not to imagine Hux’s reactions if he knew what Poe actually dreamed about, he would be mortified and righteously so. 

He needed to shower again and this time he turned the faucet all the way to the left and washed himself in a nearly freezing water just to make sure those pictures wouldn’t find their way back into his head. Poe believed it was his hormones betraying him and as a result of being locked in with one human being playing tricks with his mind. Poe found Armitage tolerably attractive but the idea of him and Hux having sex was absurd and the sooner it would be gone, the better. 

Afterwards there wasn’t much left to do – no books, no work, no space, no relatives to call (due to different time zones Poe just sent an email to his father saying he was fine and that he didn’t need to worry about his son). By the time they spent in that room Poe already knew the details of every crack on the wall, every spider web, and every speckle of dust floating above his bed. That was it. Poe itched to do something, to scream, to argue, to yell at each other – literally anything to break him out of the repetitiveness of his days.That was it. Hux crawled back into his impenetrable shell, sitting on the bed with eyes glued to the yellowed pages of his book. Poe got an intriguing idea.

“What is it that you’re reading?” he asked in a casual tone tone hoping to draw Hux in into a conversation.

Instead of answering, Hux just turned the book so Poe could see the front cover. Crime and punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Not at all something Poe would expect from Hux but on the other hand he could hardly imagine someone more suitable for Russian classics than this unapproachable man.

“I’ve never read any books by those literary giants,” Poe smiled. “They were always too long and too boring for me to find them interesting enough to focus.”

“I know, Dameron. It shows,” Hux said dryly but Poe didn’t let his disinterest discourage him.

“What did you even study? Classical literature?”

“No. I have a master's degree in Economy. You know – difficult stuff you wouldn’t understand.” 

Poe let the insult pass in silence because he saw something resembling a faint smile on Hux’s face. There was no point in arguing with the stubborn ginger-head that since they worked for the same company they both had equal education albeit in different fields because he was obviously proud of his skills.

“What did you graduate in, Dameron? I should know what kind of idiot I’m working with.” 

“Mass media and communication,” Poe grinned. He knew for sure Hux would consider his education ‘inferior’ unless Poe had a title from Harvard law. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but this was the easiest conversation they had since they returned from Italy. Not even on their work trip did they talk openly to each other – it was just business stuff and meetings and then Hux locked himself in his hotel room and Poe was left to wander around the town on his own. It has been like this the entire week they spent in the country and Hux probably expected that their quarantine would look the same – except now they had to share the little room together and had to interact with each other which made things both difficult and interesting at once. 

“Why are you even reading Crime and punishment, Hux? It’s not a book suitable for quarantine.”

“I find it… relatable,” Hux replied after a brief reflection. This left Poe confused – as far as he recalled the Crime and punishment was about a student who killed someone and was driven mad by his guilt or something similar. He didn’t understand how Hux could relate to such a character but he didn’t have to ask as he elaborated on his own. 

“Crime and punishment … that’s rather telling. My whole life has been a punishment but for what crime I have yet to figure out.” 

Poe’s breath hitched but he didn’t dare to interrupt Hux so he continued in a bitter voice. 

“My father… and I know you’ve already heard me say that… wasn’t much of a parent. Neither was my step mother. They hated me and I don’t know why.” Tears started gathering in the corners of Hux’s eyes and Poe wanted to come to him, to hold him in his arms again and tell him everything was going to be all right but he knew that it was important to let Hux get it out of his chest before anything else.

“What happened to your own mom?” Poe asked quietly not to disturb the moment. 

“She died when I was five.” Hux’s head fell to his chest as if he was asleep but Poe knew he was just trying to hide his red eyes. Now would be the right time to say something uplifting but without the help of alcohol Poe wasn’t able to find the right words. 

“What about your parents? I bet they are your heroes,” Hux scoffed.

“My mother died when I was eight. And yes, she was my hero,” Poe said firmly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that. Based on what you said about your father I imagined them living happily ever after on some farm in the middle of nowhere.”

This surprised Poe – he never would have thought that Hux listened anytime he mentioned his father Kes and the little farm in rural Texas he overtook after retiring as an architect. It was even more surprising that he and Hux had something in common – though it probably ended with both of them losing their mothers at young age because Hux’s childhood didn’t seem to be as happy as Poe’s. 

“It’s okay. I still miss her though. Every day. She trained pilots and was badass and awesome.” 

“Sounds like she was a great woman,” said Hux glaring at Poe with his scorching look until he turned his head to avert his sight. Poe berated himself – he shouldn’t have allowed Hux to talk about their families.

“Yeah, she was.” Poe caught himself getting lost in his thoughts again but he wasn’t thinking of his mom, but rather the sadness in Hux’s eyes when he spoke about his mother. When he came out of his little detour he noticed Hux’s attention returned to his book. All of a sudden Poe felt a flood of compassion towards Hux and he made a rash decision to go and hug him as he would any other of his close friends. While Hux looked shocked by it, this time he didn’t flinch and let Poe’s embrace last for a couple seconds before he started his protest.

“Get your hands off me, Dameron. I’m not drunk this time to fall into your arms like a damsel in distress again.” 

Poe snorted and as he started laughing Hux couldn’t help himself but join him and their childish giggling echoed off the empty walls. 

The typical knock on the door signaling the lunch arrived cut short their laughter. While they ate the beans with unidentified meat Poe came to the conclusion that they might be able to talk in the end and live through this quarantine together. He got the impression that he and Hux were getting along better since they left Italy but maybe it was just that Hux didn’t really allow himself to be his true self around Poe. Those thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind long after he finished his meal.

What he didn’t take into account or rather had completely forgotten about in his secret fascination by Hux was the real world outside. Hux frowned as he read the news on his phone but Poe wasn’t really bothered – the quarantine has put him under a spell of false security. That was until he heard another knock on the door and this time it sounded strangely ominous.

“Mr. Hux and Mr. Dameron?” someone shouted from the other side.

“Yes. It’s us,” Hux answered instead of Poe and hurried to the door – something in those news must have scared him because he looked upset.

“Can you please confirm if you have any of the following symptoms – dry cough, fever, headache, nausea?” Poe just looked at Hux – his eyes were wide open and full of fear.

“So far none of these, we’re doing great. But we do not have a thermometer, so we wouldn’t know if either of us had a fever,” Poe noted.

“Okay, it’s great that you are both doing well. Unfortunately, a lot of our stuff is now quarantined too and the testing phase had to be postponed so I have no update on when your samples will be taken. Do you need anything?”

“Nope we’re good…” Poe started but Hux jumped in.

“How many of those who came here with us were tested already? Were any of them positive?”

“I’m sorry, but I can't give you that information.”

“So you cannot tell us if any of the people who were on the same plane and bus as us do have coronavirus and we’ll have to wait some more until we find out if we are infected too?” Hux’s voice was full of rage and poorly suppressed panic. Poe put a hand on his chest to calm him down – it helped.

“We are terribly sorry, but we are doing what we can and a lot of our staff, nurses and doctors are infected too. To oblige the protocol we must use the correct equipment and disinfect everything and those things take a lot of time and so does the testing. Please, bear with us, you’ll be tested in no time.”

Poe didn’t even have time to say thank you or goodbye when the voices outside started arguing and then moved further down the corridor. He was left alone with Hux again and reminded that while he sat on his ass and wasted time thinking about the man next to him the world didn’t stop turning and the coronavirus kept spreading. Hux sat down and hid his face in his palms and this got Poe nervous even more.

“There is nothing we can do while we’re in here… we just have to trust them.”

“Do you have anyone on the outside you’re worried about?” Hux asked unexpectedly.

Poe shook his head – a big lump in his throat prevented him from responding. His father was relatively safe on his remote farm where he had everything he needed and the company of his animals and there was nobody else, no one close enough for Poe to care. He didn’t even have to guess to know it was the same for Hux.

This led to Poe thinking how would his father, now thousands miles and an ocean away, react if his son died? Who would come to his funeral – some old friends from college? Would anyone miss him? Would Hux miss him now that they were being forced to spend all this time together? Poe watched the other man open the book again and he realized he agreed with him in one aspect – they were being punished, but he had no idea what for.


	7. Day Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux.

Armitage Hux’s usual daily routine was rather meticulous and he was keen on adhering to it. However he found himself in a place where no rules applied – he couldn’t make breakfast of his choice, drink his tea in peace and there was no fat orange fluff giving him an accusatory stare and begging for food. Armitage missed Millicent and even though he knew she was well taken care of he wished she was there with him so he could scratch her little purring head and ease his anxiety a little. She was usually the first thing he saw in the morning. This has now changed and all he saw when he opened his eyes was Poe Dameron, his black hair sweaty and sticking to his forehead, mouth slightly open and snoring serenely.

Armitage would have been perfectly happy with spending the entire isolation alone – he was used to being on his own, he actually preferred it. He didn’t know why he didn’t mind Dameron’s presence as much as he expected. Initially he was furious that they put them in the same room just because they traveled together but in the end Armitage was glad he didn’t end up with a complete stranger. There was something … soothing about having Dameron next to him at all times. Even with his touchiness and stupid blabbering he was almost as good a companion as Millie. They were in the quarantine together for what – five, six days? and he already managed to get Armitage drunk and talking about his despised father. Dameron was like a hurricane, storming in and taking Armitage by surprise and destroying all of his preconceived notions about the world.

Armitage still felt a weird tingle around his stomach when he remembered how easily Poe touched him. He didn’t ask for permissions, he simply went and did it and Armitage found it less embarrassing and unpleasant than anticipated. Not that he would say it in front of Dameron, of course. Dameron didn’t need to know that almost everything they did together was Armitage’s first in a really long time – first time to get drunk in years, first time to get hugged by someone and first time to talk about his abusive father to someone other than Millicent. Poe Dameron has a strange effect on him indeed. Armitage knew he was supposed to get up, take a shower and then maybe read his book again but all he did was stare at Dameron’s face, annoyed by that one curl of hair that fell into his face. He wanted to get up and tuck it behind his ear. Poe’s hand felt so nice in Armitage’s hair and he was curious how Poe’s unruly black curls would feel under his touch. Armitage was never one to like physical contact – he even hated shaking someone’s hand. Poe loved it – he was an extremely touchy person – he always patted his coworkers on the shoulder, hugged everyone whom he just met and kissed their Italian partners on the cheek before leaving.

Poe started moving and Armitage had to tear his eyes away. But even as he got dressed and washed his face he still thought of Poe Dameron. When Armitage came out of the bathroom, Poe was already up and stretching.

“Good morning, Hux. Another beautiful day ahead of us, huh?” The grin on Poe’s face was wide and contagious and Armitage barely managed to hide his own smile. He didn’t know what possessed him but it was so easy to be relaxed around Poe, way too easy. It got to the point Armitage got suspicious if Poe’s friendliness wasn’t just a pretense for him to later use it against Armitage to climb the career ladder higher. But he didn’t mark Dameron as someone who would use someone’s trust like this. Armitage drank his coffee (cold as usual) and sat on his bed, eyeing the book. He’d read it many times already but there was nothing better to do.

“I hope you don’t think you’re gonna spend the entire day reading that again,” Poe protested when he correctly guessed his train of thoughts. “That book freaks me out.”

“What else do you want me to do? There’s no Wifi so I cannot work and I can only spend so much time reading about the terrible news. Another four hundred people died in the UK yesterday and two thousand more are infected… trust me, that book is my best chance of escaping this hell.”

“I know it’s bad out there,” Poe objected. “But I don’t want to die of boredom either. That might be even worse than coronavirus.”

“You surely do have a weird and inappropriate sense of humour, Dameron.”

“Well, someone has to keep your spirits up, Hux.” It was happening again – the two of them talking in a relaxed atmosphere, Poe joking and Armitage involuntarily felt the walls he built around himself crumbling. As much as he wanted to keep Poe at a certain distance, he couldn’t, it wasn’t possible and Poe was most likely aware of this because he used it to his advantage and sat next to Armitage again.

“What are we gonna do then?” he asked Poe, leaning against the wall more comfortably.

“Have you ever played truth or dare?” Poe suggested.

“If you think I’m doing that you’re a complete fool, Dameron.”

“It was just an idea,” Poe replied. “There are things I would like to ask you.”

“So ask them.” Armitage turned to Poe just to enjoy his surprised reaction.

“If they’re not too personal I’ll do my best to answer them.” The dumbfounded look on Poe’s face was almost too adorable.

“Why do you carry that knife with you?” Hux sighed but this wasn’t the worst question Poe could have asked so he answered as promised.

“As I said, my father was in the military so I was taught how to use a knife, I was sent to a survival camp as a teenager. I found it really useful to have it around throughout the years so I kept it out of habit. And no, this isn’t the one my father gave me,” Hux explained seeing the unvoiced question in Poe’s eyes. “I bought this one by myself in Switzerland. It’s really good.”

Poe had nothing to say to that so he just played with said knife, turning it in his hands, seemingly lost in his own thoughts while Armitage watched him patiently. Poe appeared to be fascinated by the knife but he quickly put it away when he saw Hux looking at him with interest.

“It’s just… I’ve never seen you as a guy who carries a knife and has been to a survival camp. I’ve always had you as a nerd Lord of the ring and Star wars person.”

“It wasn’t as much my choice as my fathers,” Armitage said. “He never let me decide what was best for myself.”

“I’m sorry for that. You are not in touch anymore, are you?”

“He died when I was twenty, so no, we are not. And don’t say you’re sorry, that would be stupid.”

Poe opened his mouth but quickly shut it. It amused Armitage to see his embarrassment for a change – out of the two of them Poe was the talkative one who always knew when and what to say and seeing him at loss of words was funny. To hide his discomfort, Poe looked at his watch.

“Damn, it’s only 10 am. Hey Hux, don’t you happen to have any movies on your laptop?”

“You’ve guessed it correctly – I don’t. It's a company laptop.” Armitage saw Poe roll his eyes at the answer but he kept the remark about Poe’s poor work discipline to himself.

“I have Netflix on my phone but the screen is too small for two people to watch it…” Poe took out his phone and searched for something but Armitage bowed his head. He was too ashamed to admit he only had a vague idea about Netflix and such because he never had time to care about shows and movies.

“How about Stranger things? I bet you haven’t seen it and I love it.”

Armitage raised his eyebrows – it was bold of Poe to straight up assume that he hasn’t seen it, but he was obviously right so no argument was made. There were no curtains so Poe threw a blanket over the curtain rod to make the room darker. This ingenuity was so typical of Poe Dameron, who could make things work under any circumstances and very new to Armitage who never shared a room with anyone and watching movies together was totally alien to him. Not that he had mentioned it to Poe who seemed overly enthusiastic about his little set-up.

“Welcome to my humble movie theater, sir. Unfortunately we don’t have any popcorn.”

“Will melted Snickers from the bottom of my bag do?”

“Sure.”

He pulled out the very poorly looking chocolate bar but Poe didn’t seem to mind sharing at all. It was their first sweet food in almost a week and he felt a little triumphant about hiding it in the bag earlier. They sat down on his bed to watch the show on the cell phone which Poe put on the table.

Armitage forced himself to relax and not to be wary about Poe’s thigh touching his as they sat next to each other. After five minutes he realized that he was actually enjoying himself and when Poe put his head on his shoulder (and he wasn’t asleep this time, Armitage was sure of that) he decided to do nothing about it and simply kept watching.


	8. Day Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fucking long chapter

It was well past midnight when Armitage finished watching the second season. As Poe suggested he really did enjoy it which surprised him. He made a mental note to subscribe to Netflix too and find some time in the future to relax this way more often. By that time, Poe was sleeping already, spread across the bed and snoring lightly. Armitage felt the corners of his mouth curl up at the sight. Poe Dameron was way better company when he didn’t talk. Poe Dameron. Annoying, cheerful and chatty, obnoxious and irrational at best, a fool wearing his heart on the sleeve. Armitage never knew anybody like him but he was drawn to Poe like a moth to a candle. And life experience taught Armitage getting too close to a flame meant burning himself. He’d never been close with anyone, never tried to make any friends in fear that it would end up hurting him. Just like with the people who were supposed to love him, protect him and care for him – his father and his wife. The memories of the abuse he had experienced at their hands twisted his stomach. Armitage taught himself not to trust people to get through life. A month ago he wouldn’t dare imagine it being different with Poe. He hated his smiles, his happiness, and his positive approach to life… yet it was the best thing that could have happened to Armitage. Without Millie and access to his anxiety medication (he wasn’t ready to tell Dameron about it yet) he worried he'd sunk into depression again but he’d managed to avoid it so far. All thanks to the black haired man who slept on Armitage’s bed and didn’t budge an inch when he shook his shoulder. 

Armitage turned the screen of the phone off and went to use the bathroom, pondering whether to wake Poe up and tell him to move or to simply sleep in the other bed. It didn’t matter that much, the blanket was exactly the same – thin and not very warm. It wasn’t the discomfort of a firm and old mattress, Armitage was used to it, but the cold lulled him into a light sleep and didn’t let him rest properly throughout the night. Suddenly he got a crazy idea, worthy of Poe Dameron’s thinking but mostly coming from his old trainer in the camp his father used to send him to every summer. He quickly dismissed it though as too inappropriate and foolish. Right as he was about to lie down, Poe woke up and turned. He must have read Armitage’s mind somehow because his question related to the thought he just had.

“Don’t you wanna join in?” he patted the space next to him. “We’ll be warmer together.” He tried to say it in a lighthearted and seductive tone but the overall impression was ruined by a yawn taking over. 

Armitage didn’t know how Poe could have guessed that he was just thinking the same and he was glad the room was dark enough to cover his reddening cheeks. Sure, they would be warmer sleeping together than each of them alone but he would never imagine suggesting anything like that. Anybody else would probably consider it sexual harassment but not Poe Dameron. Armitage doubted this was a common practice in the state where Poe came from but who the hell knew. 

“Don’t make yourself more of an idiot than you already are, Dameron,” he said as he lay on Poe’s bed. Then he heard creaking as Poe got up, tore down the blanket he used as a curtain before and then lied next to Armitage. There was no space for two adults on the narrow bed and they were squeezed together. Armitage could feel the outlines of Poe’s body through their clothes. 

“You cannot imagine what kind of an idiot I am, Hux,” Poe whispered and covered both of them with the second blanket, creating another layer to keep the heat in. It could have been the sensation of another person pressed against him or perhaps something else but he felt his entire body burning from within. “Jeez, you have really cold feet, Hux. It’s a good thing I joined you in here or you’d freeze to death.” 

“Dameron, there is no place for both of us here.” Armitage tried to sound as rationally as possible but he would rather die than admit that he actually enjoyed being warm and comfortable for the first time in a week. Somehow he managed to turn around to face Poe until their faces almost touched. This made Armitage very conscious of their proximity even though the rest of their bodies couldn’t be physically any closer. “Seriously. Go to your own bed, Dameron. You are insufferable and you’re not even drunk this time.” 

He tried to shift to create some space between them but all he achieved was that they were even closer. Poe didn’t seem to care and he casually threw his hand around Armitage’s waist. Armitage wondered if this was normal in Poe’s world or if them being locked in here simply heightened his need for contact. The confused thoughts in his head didn’t make it any easier – he knew this was stupid, but he liked it. Armitage didn’t understand – why did he melt under Poe’s touch? 

“Why do you always call me Dameron? Isn’t it time we moved to at least a first name base?” Poe asked, his hand drawing circles on Armitage’s back and he didn’t dare to move to encourage Poe to do more or to let him know just how much he loved it. 

“I never call my coworkers by their first name, Dameron. It’s impolite.”

“Yeah, but we’re not working. Plus we’re roommates now.” Poe stopped moving to examine a tense muscle on Armitage’s back. “Hey, let me help you with that… Armitage.”

Armitage opened his mouth to protest but quickly realized that would be preposterous. After two weeks of cooperation in Italy and almost a week spent together in this room there was no reason why they couldn’t call each other by their first names. Plus he hasn’t heard anyone say his name out loud in a really long time, or at least not in the friendly and sweet tone Poe used. When his father called him Armitage it was always with a significant amount of disgust and repulse and contempt. His teachers used his name as a weapon against him, as mockery, as a tool they’ve handed to his classmates who found it ridiculous and bullied him for it. Yeah, one could say the name Armitage wasn’t very lucky – it sure didn’t bring any good fortune to him. 

“What’s wrong, Hux? You’re super stiff,” Poe asked him, his voice calming and gentle again. Armitage could feel tears pressing against his eyelids. Poe was way too kind to him, way too good and god, he wanted to hate him for it but he just couldn’t. 

“You just called me Hux again. Isn’t that cheating?” Armitage laughed. 

“No because you still haven’t called me by my actual name, ya know?”

“Okay... Poe.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No it wasn’t. Now go the fuck to sleep, Poe or I’ll go insane from your constant talking.” 

“Right. You’re the general here.” Poe even gave him a little salute, which looked ridiculous in the tight space between them. Armitage shook his head and turned to lie on his side so they’d actually fit on the bed. The firm embrace of Poe’s arm around him gave him that so needed sense of safety and he fell asleep immediately. 

***

The next morning Armitage woke up at the same time as usual, damning his inner clock for not letting him sleep any longer. Poe lay on his back next to him and Armitage used his chest as a pillow. He shifted to check the time – it was exactly 7 am as he expected. The sensation of sharing a bed with someone else was entirely new to Armitage and not as terrible as he thought. Poe was really warm and even though he kept pushing Armitage with his elbow it was a nice experience which he didn’t expect. All human contact he experienced in his life so far was usually unpleasant or forced. This was the first time he actually felt safe around someone to let them touch him in a way no one has touched him for ages, probably since his mother’s death. Not wishing to dwell on that sad memory, Armitage decided to get up and set his mind on something else. Easier said than done.

“Poe, you bastard, you should shave,” Armitage mumbled as Poe’s thick beard tickled his neck. Trying to get out of bed reaching over Poe was unsuccessful and Poe woke up with a wide yawn.

“What do you have against my majestic beard?” he asked, stretching lazily.

“It looks stupid and it’s unhygienic. Now move, I need to get up.”

“As insufferable as ever, I see. Good morning by the way. What a great night, ha?”

Armitage finally managed to get out of the bed and started cracking his neck. He was sure sleeping on that disgusting and ancient mattress would take revenge on him one day.

“This is gonna kill my back,” he complained loudly.

“Wow, take it easy old man, how old are you? 35? It’s not my fault they decided to cut on the heating costs and made us sleep together.”

Armitage chose to not comment on that as he went to pick up the breakfast tray. He was thankful they had warm meals three times a day but the repetitiveness of the food was killing him and he secretly dreamt of his favorite sushi place as he put the tray on the table.

“Good news – we have porridge with something today.” By something he meant the unidentifiable substance on top of each portion– could be maple syrup, butter, pig fat or worse. It was wiser not to dwell on it as he dug into his bowl. Poe joined him, the ever present grin still on his face. It almost felt like home.

***

Almost. Their lazy lounging and arguing whether they should continue watching Stranger things or start something new was interrupted by an urgent banging on the door. It was louder and more aggressive than the usual food delivery. Poe looked confused so Armitage opened the door instead. A group of people in hazmat suits entered the tiny room.

“Good morning. My name is Dr. Nasfir. We’re here to take your samples for the coronavirus tests. If you could please stand here so we can get this over with as quickly as possible.”

Armitage frowned and looked at Poe who was just as perplexed as him. They received no message they were going to be tested that day but if it meant they were going to let them leave sooner there was no reason to not comply with the orders. That’s why Armitage stood obediently in front of the doctor and opened his mouth so he could take the sample from the back of his throat. At least that’s what Armitage expected him to do – he wasn’t prepared for the sharp pain then the doctor shoved the cotton swab into his nose. It hurt but at least it was overly quickly as Poe underwent the same procedure along Armitage.

“Thank you, gentlemen, for your cooperation. You shall receive the test results in 24 hours.” Doctor Nasfir hastily packed the equipment and handed the packed samples to his assistant. “We’ll inform you of further processes when the results arrive. So far please stay here as instructed. Have a nice day.”

With these words he finished and left along with the nurse and the other person (Armitage had no idea who they were because they wore full protective suits, face masks and shields). Armitage looked at Poe with silent questions in his eyes.

“Sooo… I guess we wait. Everything’s going to be alright,” Poe said and smiled at Armitage but he didn’t feel convinced at all.


	9. Day Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty-angsts loosely inspired by real coronavirus situations /luckily noone of my family members or friends got infected so my story is just based on what I can read from the media - please, forgive any inaccuracies as the situation may be different in your country and also I'm not a medical professional but a poor Gingerpilot slut/

Poe was starting to believe he had Armitage Hux figured out. Sure, the man had a lot of issues and emotional baggage the size of Titanic but nothing Poe couldn’t understand. Poe thought that after a week spent together he started to crack through Armitage’s shell and see the real man underneath. Someone with a snarky sense of humour, someone fragile and yet resilient, someone strong and beautiful at the same time. He wasn’t able to imagine what Armitage must have gone through in his life, what hardship shaped him into the man he became, but Poe was willing to help him overcome it, to extend a friendly hand and get him out of that lonely hole. He was aware it was a lengthy process and a long road was still ahead of them but he knew he could do it and he was committed to the goal.

Then he noticed something was wrong with Armitage. It began shortly after the doctors left – he returned to reading his book and when Poe suggested they could play a game he just sneered. He let it slide then, being distressed from the nonstandard approach of the doctor taking their samples himself. But Armitage was still surly and irritated the next day. After the food arrived he picked up walking around the small room like a caged lion and Poe got fed up with this quickly.

“Could you please stop doing that?” Poe snapped and regretted it immediately. Armitage didn’t let him sleep next to him that night. Poe didn’t even suggest it, not being in the mood as he felt unwell too. Poe could hear him turning around until he managed to fall asleep. The dark bags under his eyes served as a proof of his insomnia.

“I can’t just sit around, waiting. It’s been almost 24 hours now.” Armitage resumed his nervous pacing, leaving his breakfast untouched on the tray. He didn’t even drink his tea and that was a bad sign as Poe knew Armitage was really fond of his regular morning drink.

“Oh, so you’re fussed up about the test results. Why? None of us has any symptoms, we’re doing just fine. They’re gonna let us go home after this. Plus it only affects old people, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Those words obviously didn’t land well with Armitage.

“How can you say that? You cannot know if you haven’t caught the new virus at the airport or somewhere else, anywhere! And this is not just some flu, COVID-19 has much more severe course!”

Armitage was practically yelling at Poe at this point, his skin pale and sweaty and he had trouble breathing as his breaths were short and heavy. Poe was ready to dismiss his worries as unnecessary and crazy but he looked into Armitage’s eyes and saw pure terror. He was really scared he got coronavirus and his whole body was trembling like an old tree under strong wind.

“Listen to me, Armitage,” Poe said, standing right in front of him and cradling his face in his palms, gently caressing his cheeks.

“You do not have coronavirus. You are perfectly healthy. We are good and we’re gonna go home tomorrow at latest. And everything is going to be just fine, I promise.” Armitage stood still, letting the tears stream down his cheeks freely as he stared directly into Poe’s eyes. The look of those green eyes was so relentless that Poe almost looked away but there was something fascinating that draw him and he knew he was totally lost in that moment. Yet he gave no warning what he was about to do.

“Armitage…” Poe whispered as he leaned closer and kissed the other man, wrapping his arms around his waist so that he wouldn’t pull away. But Poe didn’t need to worry. After the initial shock disappeared, Armitage opened his mouth and kissed him harder and more passionately than anyone else ever. Poe could hear moans escaping from Armitage’s throat and that sound sent shivers down his spine. He could kiss him forever, all day, every day if he’d only let him – he wanted this broken man so much, he wanted to… but no words were needed. The kiss said it all. Poe wanted it to last forever but that wasn’t possible. The little noise of protest Armitage made when he stopped amused him. He caressed those ginger hair and placed a small kiss on Armitage’s nose.

“Poe…” Armitage started but he silenced him with another kiss, softer and slower this time.

“Don’t say anything, please, don’t ruin this for me. Please.” Poe was startled by his own voice – he never begged anyone like this before. But he knew he couldn’t let Armitage go and forget and pretend that this quarantine, these moments they shared, never happened. His mind was running wild with all the scenarios, all the possibilities that could come to life and he hoped, he desperately wished at least some of them would come true in the future.

Armitage pressed his forehead against Poe’s, bringing them as close together as possible, staring at Poe with lust that could set entire cities on fire. Poe tilted his head to kiss him again but someone knocked on the door again, this time even more urgently than before.

***

In the following years Poe could recall what occurred back then more clearly but at that moment it all seemed to be covered by a thick haze. It was a copying mechanism, he guessed, his brain trying to suppress what it didn’t want to perceive as real.

He opened the door and there stood the man who introduced himself earlier as doctor Nasfir, followed by a nurse and a couple of soldiers, all wearing the dreadful protective suits. His mind was not processing the situation happening in front of his eyes as the doctor told Armitage his test results were positive and he was to be escorted to a specialized hospital directly.

Poe felt like he was unable to register any of that – as if all of it was happening to somebody else, to someone else’s body and not to his and he was just a by passer watching from the sidelines. Armitage was in such a shock he didn’t even protest, just packed his things, let them put a face mask on him and left without saying goodbye, without sharing one last look with Poe. Doctor Nasfir just nodded and followed them, leaving Poe alone with the nurse. His mind went completely blank – this couldn’t, this wasn’t real. He heard screaming but when he turned to face the nurse, she was silent – those howling voices must have existed only inside his head.

“Sir, if you could please sign these documents,” she said as she handed him a face mask and disposable gloves. “It states here that you took the test voluntarily and your test results are negative and you are being released into home quarantine. It’s recommended that you stay home in self-isolation for two more weeks to make sure you were not infected and even later practice social distancing and oblige with the mandatory wearing of a face mask. Can you fill your address here, please? We have busses ready for people who are being released today, but if you need individual transportation, I can help you with that…”

Poe heard those words for sure. It was just that he chose not to listen. There was only one thought left that was haunting him – Armitage was sick. Armitage tested positive for coronavirus. Armitage was in danger. Armitage could die. He was so terrified of this and he was the one to get sick with the new virus. Poe suddenly felt like a dirty liar for reassuring Armitage that everything was going to work out in the end. He screwed up and terribly so. Hot tears rolled down his face as he took a pen from the nurse and signed the papers without even looking at them.

“Sir, are you okay? Do you need to lie down? Or I could get you some water?” she asked, her concern sincere as she took a better look at Poe. He must have looked like a wreck and he had a reason to.

Poe’s heart shattered to pieces in his chest – he never wished this to happen to Armitage, Armitage who’s suffered enough already and was frightened and alone most of his life. Armitage who didn’t deserve more pain and suffering – Poe wanted to protect and shield him from all of it and he failed, he failed so miserably. He didn’t even catch the virus, no, it must have been Armitage due to some witched play of destiny.

It must have been pure perseverance that made Poe get through the rest of the required procedures. He mechanically drank a glass of water, swallowing a tiny white pill the nurse handed him too (only later he learnt it was Xanax to calm him down), packed all his stuff and followed her along the corridors, outside the building and into the bus. He didn’t care where he was going or why, completely oblivious to the fact that he wrote down his address and was headed back to London. Somehow he fell asleep on the way but his dreams were disturbing – he saw Armitage’s face floating in front of him – his lips parted and soft and then his features deformed by pain and tubes coming out of his mouth…

“Sir, we’re in London already. Is Greenvale 23 the correct address? You stated it in the form.”

Poe’s eyes snapped open. An elderly bus driver was looking at him with the same concern as the nurse before. Poe’s eyes must have given away his worries as his face was mostly covered by the mask.

“Thanks, that’s the right place. Thank you so much for everything.” He hurriedly grabbed his bags to avoid further interaction with the bus driver and took off – he was standing in front of his apartment building indeed.

“Hey, sir, is everything fine?” The driver still asked through the open bus door behind Poe’s back.

“Yes. Thank you, I’m fine. Goodnight.” Poe watched the bus leave as he entered the building.

He has never said a bigger lie in his life.


	10. Day Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Armitage

The apartment was in exactly the same state as before he left for Italy – half unfurnished, half unpacked and mostly empty and unhomely, everything covered by a thin layer of dust. Poe’s been living there only for four months and the amount of work he had prevented him from turning it into a real home.

After he threw his bags into the corner, he went straight to bed not caring about work or food but the sleep wasn’t coming and Poe tossed and turned until he gave up hope he’d actually get some rest that night. All he could think about was Armitage – his hair, his eyes, his lips… no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop imagining what he must have been going through at the moment. The only consolation was that Armitage was young and without any signs of sickness – he would probably spend a couple more weeks in isolation until he’d be virus-free. That’s what Poe told himself to stop himself from slowly spiraling into madness.

Poe got up and decided to actually do some work instead of pointless worrying – he checked the pantry and ordered grocery delivery, checked his work emails (nothing that couldn’t wait), paid some bills online and then opened and read the documents he got from the nurse. It said he was supposed to stay at in-home quarantine for 14 more days, avoid any social contacts and in case he started developing any of the symptoms immediately reached out to PHE. As he started reading through this medical report, cold sweat flooded him. None of them had any symptoms for the week they spent together. Poe’s results were negative but the samples were taken before the kiss… the damned kiss. It all went to hell right after they kissed.

The panic was starting to take over him. Poe put his head in his hands. What did he do? Why was he so stupid and irresponsible? He opened his laptop and started googling the coronavirus transmission frantically but he knew already he must have caught it too. The headache was getting worse as he replayed the last moments they spent together, how that doctor announced Armitage’s test results. Poe almost couldn’t bear it.

He tried to take a cold shower but it didn’t wash away the blame – they were quarantined because of the virus threat and not for Poe to try to seduce his attractive coworker because of his own selfishness. Because he couldn’t keep his indecent thoughts to himself and just had to kiss Armitage. How could he be so greedy and thoughtless, wanting Armitage all for himself and look where that brought them.

As the day passed Poe alternated between pacing in circles around the living room and trying to force himself to calm down. He attempted calling the government public health line but it was busy every single time. The fear and panic kept switching between each other the whole day, taking control of Poe’s body and mind so he couldn’t think clearly. Somehow mechanically he picked up the grocery delivery from his front door, put dirty clothes into the washing machine, and cleaned the bathroom. He had to keep his hands busy so his attention wouldn’t turn to the thoughts of him getting the coronavirus, of Armitage dying from it… it was like a never-ending storm of guilt and fright.

Later Poe found solace in a bottle of wine – not one of those he brought over from Italy. He drank one glass after another and stared at the empty walls almost identical to those he saw in the quarantine facility. Why was he so scared? Why was it Armitage who caught the virus? Why, why, why…. He tried to ration with himself, persuade his inner self that he and Armitage were never close, were not friends but it was impossible. Poe had to face the ugly truth – he cared about Armitage deeply. 

***

Armitage lost the sense of time after his arrival to the hospital – the endless ride, countless examinations and questions, reports on his medical history, blood and saliva samples, countless faceless figures in suits and the ghastly smell of hospital disinfectant he hated so much. Armitage didn’t know why – he’d never really spent a lot of time in a hospital before, but the smell probably awakened some of his worst memories and reminded him of the pain he had to endure once. He kept telling the doctors he didn’t feel sick at all, hadn’t so much as sneezed in the past couple days but the thermometer spoke otherwise – 38,5 degrees Celsius. He could see the nurse’s raised eyebrows even through the face shield – things were bad. And kept getting worse throughout the day as he started coughing – a dry and labored cough trying to tear through his chest. They sent him to a lung x-ray ‘just to check things’ but afterwards he could hear hushed voices and whispered arguments, which was understandable. Armitage read the news and the piling death count and he promised himself he would take everything thrown his way as calmly as possible. However he sharp twist of fear said otherwise.

He laughed wearily – he knew they were gonna tell him bad news but what could be worse than the new disease Covid-19? Armitage wanted to laugh again but the pressure in his lungs just started another coughing fit. This time the nurse (or maybe she was a doctor? He couldn’t distinguish between them as everyone looked the same) didn’t wait until it was over – she meddled with his IV pole for a minute and then stared at the monitor to check his vital signs. 

The reason why was only revealed to him a couple hours later as his state deteriorated quickly. The outspoken doctor Nasfir wasn’t there anymore and those medics were probably too cautious to tell him directly but Armitage wasn’t stupid and figured it out on his own – he felt things were going to hell and quickly so. More specifically, his lungs giving up on him, not letting him breathe in enough air, his chest muscles straining with cramps trying to help pump some oxygen into his bloodstream. He wasn’t afraid of dying – he’d always been a very rational man and was aware his body was going to betray him one day he just didn’t expect it to happen at such a young age. And the pain, the excruciating pain under his sternum, trying to break his ribs, nobody, not even the beatings from his father’s hands, prepared him for that kind of agony.

Armitage reminded himself to punch Dameron in the face when or more precisely if they’d meet again for alleviating the entire coronavirus situation – but then again, it was him and him only who stopped Armitage from going crazy with panic. Poe’s teasing, stupid jokes, his warm embrace and their kiss. The damned kiss. Poe’s lips awoken emotions Armitage didn’t believe he was capable of feeling. He did give him hope he could be loved and wanted as a normal person, even though he thought he was undeserving of such attention. Funny, how one kiss changed his whole worldview. He guessed Poe had that kind of effect on people.

If Armitage had enough energy left he would probably come to the same realization as Poe – that he surely must have infected the other man when they kissed. But Armitage’s brain oh the kiss most of all were the last things Armitage thought of before he fell unconscious. It was a secret blessing as he didn’t have to argue with terrified nurses and witness doctors rushing to his lifeless body with ominous beeping of the respiratory ventilator echoing in the background


	11. Two weeks later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to claim once again that I am not a medical professional and I based all my Covid-19 research on media coverage both in UK and my own country, so I would like to apologize for any inaccuracies. but very little is still known about the coronavirus so my little twist is maybe not all that unlikely

“Hello? My name is Poe Dameron… Yes. I would like to talk to doctor Nasfir, please? He was working….”

“I’m really sorry but doctor Nasfir passed away last week. He got infected with coronavirus from his patients, poor man. Such a great physician. Did you know him personally? I could write down a message if you’d like to send condolences to his widow…”

“Thank you, that won’t be necessary. Bye.” Poe didn’t let the woman on the other end of the line finish and ended the call. There was nothing else she could help him with anyway, at least not with what he needed to know. It still scared him though, to learn that the doctor who took care of them in the quarantine facility died. Poe could hear his stern voice in his head and cold sweat started to gather on his temples. Doctor Nasfir didn’t look too old – he could be in his late forties at most. The new virus was indeed inevitable and it took lives by thousands, not distinguishing between the young and the old, the rich and the poor. Poe couldn’t even read news or watch TV, too petrified by the rising numbers of the reported deaths and infected in the UK. The situation in his homeland was comparable if not worse although Poe’s father assured him via a late night Skype call he was doing just fine on the farm and he would wait the coronavirus outrage out in relative comfort with the help of Amazon deliveries. Poe felt ashamed a bit that he didn’t care about his father enough but there was nothing he could do from the other side of the Atlantic. His only consolation was the fact that Kes Dameron was a tough man – something like a little pandemic wouldn’t upset him.

Despite two week had already passed and he was sure he got infected when he kissed Armitage Poe himself still had no symptoms – he hadn’t even sneezed during those fourteen days he spent locked in his apartment. The new thermometer he ordered online didn’t provide any confirmation either – his temperature was perfectly normal. Poe almost smashed the damned thing that morning – he didn’t believe it. There was no chance in which he couldn’t get it, the kiss lasted too long, it was too intimate. The never-ending circle of blame, guilt and remorse spun itself around like a carousel inside Poe’s head. The apartment didn’t look much cleaner after those two weeks. His attention was focused on a single thing – Armitage. Hux’s phone has been dead though, probably turned off. So Poe had been calling the government help line every day since he came home. It has been busy or not working at all most of the time and when he finally got to speak to someone on the phone they always put him on hold or transferred to someone else. He hadn’t been able to get the information he so desperately needed so he tried reaching the HR instead. Again, to no avail. The desperation reached a point when he tried to find the mysterious Andrea who’s been taking care of Millicent on the internet – but it was pointless as Armitage didn’t have Facebook nor Instagram so Poe couldn’t look at his friends and contacts. But he felt he had to keep pushing and trying or otherwise he would go mad.

The coffee he’d made when he woke up has already gone cold. Poe looked at the half empty mug, suddenly remembering how Armitage drank his cold coffee in the quarantine and threw the mug into the kitchen sink. Poor cup shattered, splashing Poe with droplets of coffee. Now that the fury has subsided, fear has taken its place. Fear he would never get the chance to tell Armitage. But Poe wasn’t even sure what he wanted to tell him. He was still leaning against the counter when he felt the phone vibrate in his pocket, took it out and saw a message light up on the phone screen.

_“Poe, reply to my emails immediately. I understand you’ve been in mandatory quarantine for a week but you’ve been on a sick leave for another two weeks now! And I know you’ve tested negative for coronavirus so it would be good if you turned on the computer and got your ass back to work ASAP. The Italians backed out of the deal so we have to come up with a new strategy. Diane.”_

Instead of ‘reply’ Poe clicked on the ‘delete’ symbol and then dialed another number. After a minute of the annoying ringtone he heard someone pick up.

“Hello, Amber, it’s me, Poe.”

“Yeah, I know your voice already. What do you need? Any plans to tell me you’re ending your sick leave? You know I got your back but Diane’s been asking why the hell is it taking you so long to return to work – you know you can work from home as long as you need and flexible working hours are not a problem.”

“No, Amber, I’m not feeling good enough yet. I’ve tried contacting the facility where I spent the quarantine but no help. Do you have any updates on Armitage?”

“No, Poe, for the millionth time no. I don’t know which hospital he’s in or how he’s doing and you have no right to stick your nose into his private matters, don’t you think?” Amber’s voice was so mean and full of poison that if Poe stood next to her he would strangle her for sure. “Plus it wouldn’t help even if you knew – hospital visits are forbidden at the moment and even if they weren’t they wouldn’t let you see him because you’re not his relative. And for the same reason I wouldn’t give you any updates on his health reports if I had any, you understand?”

“Yes, it’s clear, but if you could….”

“Poe I get it – you two worked on the Italian deal for so long, traveled to Italy even, and spent some time in quarantine… It’s only natural he is your closest friend but you have to stop freaking out.”

Those words caught him by surprise – did Amber really think they were close? Poe never got that impression before the quarantine, on the contrary, he thought Armitage couldn’t stand him before they got locked in the small room together. Was it just Poe’s impression? Was he just blind and deaf to Armitage’s clumsy attempts to be friendly? Maybe he’s been interpreting Armitage’s coldness wrong this whole time.

“Thank you, Amber, for everything. Call me if you’ve got any news, alright? Bye.”

The phone landed on the couch and Poe followed, face down into the ugly throw pillow he bought at Marks&Spencer. The phone beeped again – another angry message from Diane. Poe groaned. Amber was maybe stupid but she was right this time and he really ought to sort things out. And there was one way which would help him ease his troubled mind. So he opened Google and started typing.

***

The doctor who came to take his samples was young, much younger than he anticipated when they talked on the phone. She introduced herself as Dr. Walker and she spoke with a confidence unusual for someone of her age. But it was all the same to Poe as long as it ended his uncertainty where he was infected or not. This time Poe had to arrange a pay for the coronavirus test at a private clinic – their logo Medirex was everywhere, even printed on the top of her respirator. Talk about advertisement, Poe thought. He found it repulsing but the company surely must have been thriving. Well, it did help Poe paid nearly 300 pounds for the test in the top notch private clinic. Old habits die hard – he still tried to convert that sum to US dollars, but his thoughts were interrupted when the doctor returned. Poe looked at her with raised eyebrows, he thought they were done after the samples.

“Excuse me, Mr. Dameron,” she said. “I’m sorry I haven’t asked earlier as it would save some time with the paperwork, but I would like to ask you if you’d agree that we also do a serological test. All it takes is a blood sample so we can detect antibodies in your blood in case you overcame coronavirus in the past. You told us you tested negative in the previous test provided by a state facility but … we would like to collect more information about the new virus from all kinds of patients.” Before Poe could even open his mouth with a question, she added. “Of course, the same privacy applies to your personal info here and you don’t have to pay extra. You will be informed of the blood test results as well and we will use them only for statistics purposes.”

Her voice (Poe could only see her eyes as the rest of her face was covered by a medical mask and a protective shield) must have made miracles for selling the procedures done at the clinic because Poe just nodded tiredly and she took out a syringe and a needle as if she wasn’t expecting anything else but him saying yes to her proposition. Regardless of her appearance Dr. Walker was very skilled. Poe could barely feel the needle and the entire thing lasted only a couple seconds. She pressed the injection point on his elbow and smiled at him – Poe could tell by the wrinkles forming around her eyes. Maybe she wasn’t as young as he suspected after all.

“That’ll be all. Thank you for your cooperation and don’t forget to sign your agreement at the reception before you go.” With those words she picked the sample tray and left Poe alone with the dull pain in his stomach that reminded him he was doing all of this for Armitage and Armitage only.

***

By the time Poe woke up the next day it was noon already and he had seventeen new messages from his boss. They varied in threats and pleaded for him to return to work but he ignored all of them and turned to sleep again. The phone started ringing out loud. He had a terrible headache and was about to throw the poor iPhone across the room when he noticed the number on the screen. Dr. Walker.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Dameron.” Her voice was bright and somehow made him feel worse.

“Hello, Dr. Walker,” Poe greeted her but had no energy to do anything more.

“I’m calling about your test results and I have good news – you tested negative. However there is one thing I need to inform you about.” She paused but Poe had nothing to say so she continued. “As I said we did run the serological test with your blood sample – it turned out you have already had coronavirus in the past as there are antibodies present in your blood cells. It is most likely you got infected and overcame the virus without any symptoms – there are known cases of asymptomatic patients. The only thing that bothers me is you tested negative in your previous test which means you must have got infected afterwards… I can’t imagine where, you continued your quarantine…”

Her words dissolved into nothingness and so did Poe’s world. So he was healthy, must have been healthy and caught the virus from Armitage. In different circumstances he would have been mad but even if he wanted to blame someone it was all his fault.

***

Several hours or days could have passed – Poe could not tell. He lay on the bed and tried to put the pieces together. Suddenly the phone rang again – he glanced at the screen. It was Amber from HR.

“Hey, hello, any news?”

“Hey, Poe. Yeah… so I know I’m not really supposed to tell you this and if you tell anyone I will personally break your neck once this is over, but I know which hospital Armitage’s in if that makes you happy.”

Poe could hear his own labored breathing echo in the phone but he didn’t care. He waited for Amber to tell him more.

“He is in Saint Bartholomew’s hospital in Kensington. But you don’t know this from me!”

“Thank you, bye.”

Poe didn’t even stop to think it was rude to just hang up on her like that – he had more important matters at hand. While he was looking up the hospital’s phone number he noticed his hands shaking. Finally he was able to type the number correctly.

“St. Bartholomew, how can I help you?”

“Hello, my name is Poe Dameron. I’m calling because of Armitage Hux – he was admitted to your hospital with positive coronavirus results two weeks ago.”

“Yeah, let me check that for you. The name is Armitage Hux, you say?”

“Yes,” Poe said. He was barely able to utter those words. He heard some typing and he was put on hold without warning. Fortunately this time he was spared having to listen to that unbearable background tone.

“I’m back. I’ve checked the reports but I cannot find anyone named Armitage Hux here.”

“Would you please check again? It’s important.” Poe could feel his throat tightening.

“Trust me, sir, I’ve looked twice already. He has been either discharged into home care or passed away. Sadly, we have way too many Covid-19 related deaths currently. I cannot provide you with more information as health reports can only be provided to family members personally, I hope you understand.”

Poe didn’t even manage to say ‘thank you’ this time. He simply sat down on a chair with his head in his hands and tears found their way through his fingers and dropped onto the floor.


	12. The next day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I just realized I'm still a Gingerpilot slut.

There was nothing else left to do after the second test came out negative too – Poe’s run out of excuses as why not to return to work. It was time he admitted to himself that he’s been procrastinating for all the wrong motives way too long. Even though he was infected, Poe was now coronavirus free and had no reason to delay his responsibilities any longer. No matter how much he wanted to see Armitage again it was important to get back to work again if he didn’t want to lose his source of income.

Diane probably gave up on him already because no new emails appeared but Poe knew it was a matter of hours until he’d have to face the inevitable conversation with his boss. He shaved his beard (it was starting to get out of control as he didn’t care about shaving in the past few days), put on a clean shirt (to look a bit more presentable and a little bit less pitiful) and opened his laptop and prepared for the rage as he called her.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in! Our lost son finally decided to show up!”

Diane’s head appeared on his monitor as he joined the conference call. Poe just gritted his teeth. His manager had every right to be mad at him and he had to make his way through her angry rant and face the possibility of getting fired on the spot.

“So you’re finally feeling good enough to work again?” 

“Yeah. Diane, I’m sorry for ignoring your messages but you have to understand that I was going through the mandatory quarantine and then worrying about the coronavirus. I was under so much pressure and stress I couldn’t focus on work…”

“Poe, stop it, just stop.” Diane’s laughter was the last thing he expected. He completely forgot that she could see him via webcam so upon seeing his baffled face she started giggling even more. “You know, I was super pissed that you didn’t reply but then I talked to Amber and she told me how worried you were about Armitage (at this point Poe reminded himself to strangle Amber and her gossipy mouth once the lockdown was lifted). I came to realize how hard it must have been in the quarantine especially after that negotiations with the Italians. Look, what I mean to say is I don’t blame you that you took the time off, god knows we all need that now in these crazy times. So let’s get to more pressing matters – as I mentioned the Italians backed out of the deal, blaming it on coronavirus, crashing economy and markets and blah-blah-blah. Stupid assholes. So we need to come up with ideas on new marketplaces to expand to and quickly so to get ahead of our competitors….”

“Wait, Diane, slow down for me, please.” Poe had to stop her or he would get completely lost in her train of thoughts. His ears did not believe what she was saying. “Does this mean I’m not getting fired? Not even an official reprimand?”

“No, Poe, not this time. I’m not saying you won’t face the consequences ….”

“Wait, what consequences?” Poe jumped in rudely. The fear of losing his job took him again.

“No bonuses at the end of the year and say goodbye to the premium benefits too,” Diane sighed. “If it makes you happy, this applies to all of us, not just you, the company is barely holding up now. But why would we fire you? We need people like you Poe, to help us get things running again and quickly, so we’re running out of time here. So as I was saying earlier, we need to brainstorm on our expansion plan to new markets. Okay, Italy didn’t work out but there are other countries where our product could be successful, we just need to come up with the right campaign. Hit them at the right spot and our sales will go up again.”

Diane stopped talking, expecting Poe to add something to it, but he needed time to process what she said. He was so sure he was about to lose his job that he was totally unprepared for any other outcome.

“I will need some time to get through all of this and prepare some briefings,” he managed to get out.

“Great. I’ll wait for your emails. I’ve already sent you the reports from finance – as I said, we’re not looking good at the moment with the marketing and advertising budget so any low-cost ideas are very welcomed. Okay, I need to run or my little on will scream her throat out downstairs. Thanks and see ya.”

Poe was left alone, staring at the screen and it took him a while to deal with all the new info and the rollercoaster that was their call. He realized he didn’t know Diane very well if her decision surprised him so much – maybe it was more Poe’s ignorance and less her unpredictability. The facts were slowly revealed that Poe didn’t know anyone in the office as well as he thought – not Amber, not Armitage and not even Diane.

Then he remembered he wanted to ask her if she knew anything about Armitage but maybe it was for the better – or he would get more scolding than what Amber gave him. Poe cracked his neck and took to replying to the endless emails, opening the files and digging through all the new stuff that was thrown at him. The work at least gave him something else to think about than Armitage, to focus on other thoughts that the man he grew so close with might be dead.

***

Poe spent the entire day working and he found it refreshing to do something challenging again after the prolonged period of doing nothing. Or maybe he only felt better because it distracted him from thinking about Armitage.

When he was finally done with work he decided to unwind a little and pour himself a glass of wine and enjoy the peace of mind for a moment. He just poured himself a second glass when the phone started ringing again – this time with ‘Unknown number’ flashing on the screen. Little annoyed by the inconvenience of not knowing who was calling, Poe picked it up.

“Hello. Poe Dameron.”

“Hi, Dameron. This is Hux. I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

The one sentence in the familiar voice was enough to almost make Poe drop his phone on the ground.


	13. The Day Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux.

He was floating in and out of consciousness as if someone was flipping a switch in his head. His days were filled with rhythmic beeping and shuffling of nurse’s feet. He hadn’t opened his eyes in God knows how long but there was nothing to see. His mind wasn’t blank though – instead it replayed images from his past. Cursed pictures he didn’t want to see ever again but he was the only viewer in this theater and was forced to watch it all.

Armitage saw himself being eight and dragged out of bed by his father in the middle of the night and forced to run in circles around the base until he threw up. Having to sit outside in the freezing rain only wearing a shirt just because he didn’t get the best grade. His stepmother twisting and pinching his wrists so painfully she almost broke them just because he snuck into the kitchen for snacks. His classmates at the academy kicking his fragile body while he lay on the ground, mocking his stupid name and lack of strength. The constant humiliation and degradation by his teachers, professors and trainers who all reported to his father. The boy is good for nothing… weak… useless…

Then the scene changed. He saw Poe Dameron. Him smiling, frowning over the deal they were about to sign, being passionate about pizza and forcing Armitage to taste it, Poe trying to calm him down when he had an anxiety attack, Poe snoring next to him in their quarantine room and most of all, Poe leaning closer, his lips pressing against Armitage….

It didn’t last. Nothing good in his life lasted, he was used to losing every little thing he loved from a plushie he had as a child to his only friend at the academy. When they parted ways after the graduation he knew he was never going to be able to make friends with someone else – his social skills were poor and anxiety high.

Suddenly he was forced into consciousness by a very loud voice.

“Mr. Hux, can you hear me? Can you hear me?”

Armitage just nodded, not wanting to open his eyes yet and expose them to the bright light. But the person standing next to him kept talking and he had no choice but to look at them. Everything was blurry at first but with the light came also the realization that the weight sitting on his chest was gone. The pain was still there, but significantly less terrible and he was able to breathe more or less freely.

The doctor patiently waited for Armitage to get used to his surroundings.

“How are you feeling? Will you please answer a few questions for me?”

“Yes, go ahead.” Armitage got surprised by the sound of his voice but he was still weak after they removed the lung ventilator. It was almost a novel feeling to breathe on his own and not with the machine.

“Can you give me your full name and date of birth?”

“Armitage Hux, 12 th May 1984.” He had to take a break after every word – it still hurt a little to talk out loud and his throat was sore from the tube. They must have removed it just recently.

“Great, thank you. Your temperature is almost back to normal and all the other signs are getting better too. We might be able to test you in a couple of days and then you could go home.”

The only thing Armitage could do was a faint smile. That overly enthusiastic doctor didn’t know all there was waiting for him was a cold house, damp bed sheets and nothing else. He knew they wouldn’t let him take Millicent back at least for a couple weeks because his immune system was not strong enough yet. Now that he could think clearly he remembered how much he missed her. How long was it since he last saw her? Two weeks? Or more? Armitage was going to spoil her with expensive cat food and designer cat toys once they were reunited. And she would gracefully overlook them anyways as she always did when he tried showing her some love and affection. This never bothered him before – that he was able to love an ignorant creature like Millie but not make any real connections with humans. But when he got to know Poe better he felt how much he missed that.

***

The doctor was right. Armitage kept feeling better and better as the days passed, he was even able to sit up in the bed and finally eat solid food although it didn’t taste much better than the one served in the quarantine facility. But more time being awake meant also more time for thinking and this brought Armitage to things he would rather forget about. What happened between him and Poe? Were they friends now? How were they going to treat each other after their quarantine? Questions like these troubled his mind, interrupted only by ever less frequent checks and tests.

He spent two weeks in the hospital when the doctors announced he would be discharged. The final test showed the long awaited results – Armitage was coronavirus negative and ready to leave. He was one of the luckier ones – the place reeked of death of many other patients who didn’t make it. Armitage was never too emotional, not easily moved or touched by things but even he felt he had to thank the doctors and nurses who took care of him and was firmly determined to join his neighbours in the clapping tribute the next Thursday. Still, the relief of being let go was welcomed as he headed home.

***

Armitage never paid anyone to clean his house, not even someone to guard it while he was on the business trip. He’s never really had a green thumb so there were no dead plants and Millicent lived with Andrea in her flat temporarily so no one needed to come to feed her either. The house was cold and unwelcoming without the fuzzy little kitty. But he knew she was well taken care of so he focused on more important tasks – turning on the heating, checking the windows and back door, sorting the mail and unpacking the suitcase he brought from Italy.

The doctors ordered him to rest for the next several weeks but he found himself bored out his mind the next day already. He went to bed early and spent most of the next day talking to his service provider, arguing about unpaid bills and better home internet connection. As he had no other responsibilities or duties after that, Armitage decided responding to a few work emails wouldn’t hurt him if his GP didn’t know about it, so he opened his work laptop. The first he saw was a green circle next to Diane’s name so he decided to reach out to her.

“Hello, I’m finally back from the hospital. I’ll be back to work fully soon but I just wanted to check how things are looking with the Italian deal.” He typed into the chat window and waited for her reply.

“Hi Armitage, glad to see you back.” Diane called him so he turned on the webcam. “How are you?”

“I’m doing just fine. They let me go home yesterday.”

“That’s good to hear. But you take your time, surely you need to rest a lot, but I’m happy to hear you’re healthy now. Lot happened while you were out so I got something to tell you.”

“Sure.” Armitage suspected some bad news given the state of the county, but Diane’s answer shocked him anyway.

“The Italian deal is over – it is blown because of coronavirus. We’ll have to find some other marketplaces to expand to – I’ve already talked to Poe and he’s supposed to come up with a new strategy.”

This information left Armitage speechless. If he was able to find any words in the situation, he would probably swear and curse but he wasn’t able to react. All of his hard work, the entire project he worked on for many months, the budget they spent – it completely went down the drain. And Diane just expected him to move on? He was supposed to just let everything go?

“Diane… I … that is quite a surprise for me. What happened?” he said hoping he’d managed to hide his anger.

“You know, the usual – coronavirus, markets fall, closed borders, typical cowardly stuff. But we’ll do it again somewhere else and we’ll do it better this time! I can send you the baseline of the new projects if you’d like to take a look into it but think of your own health first, okay? Rest a lot so that you’ve got energy and nerves to dive into this chaos again. Fine. Great talk. I gotta run. Stay strong! Bye!”

Diane disconnected and Armitage was left to stare at the black empty screen. Out of all the things in the world that could happen, this was the worst. Even worse than the coronavirus. Armitage loved his job and it was the only source of some pride in his life – a way of achieving respect and recognition. Now it was gone – or at least that’s what he saw. He tried to reason with himself that this situation should be seen as an opportunity to do something new and to do it better but he just couldn’t believe it.

The anxiety was finding its way back again. He could feel it crawling up his spine and neck and burying itself in his brain where he could not get rid of it. One quick glance at the medicine cabinet in the kitchen told him that he still had the anxiety medicine prescribed by his psychiatrist. However Armitage made a different decision, closed the laptop and picked up his phone, hoping the person he was trying to reach would pick up even though he had a new phone number.

“Hello. Poe Dameron.”

“Hi, Dameron. This is Hux. I’ve been trying to call you all day.”


	14. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, here we go again

Poe’s heart almost exploded with relief. Were he standing, his knees would surely give up on him. But the couch he was sitting on already provided the much needed support so he just leaned against the pillows and let the overwhelming feeling of happiness take over him. Armitage was alive and well enough to call him, to let him know. A sob must have escaped his throat because Armitage’s voice sounded concerned although not without a hint of amusement. 

“Dameron, are you crying?” he asked. Poe couldn’t comprehend how he’d managed to sound sexy even through the phone and after being sick for so long. Obviously, he mustn’t let Armitage know. 

“No, it’s just a yawn,” Poe said to hide his embarrassment and quickly wiped the one tear that escaped with the back of his hand as if Armitage could actually see him. “I’m glad you’re okay."

“Thank you. They let me go home already. Anyways, Diane’s called me already and told me what happened. It shook me but there’s no time to cry over spilled milk. Whatever. Fuck the Italians.”

This left Poe confused. He didn’t immediately realize Armitage was talking about work and it took him a minute to process it. To be honest he nearly got lost in a completely different type of thoughts when he heard Armitage on the phone, the kind he was trying to avoid with all his might. 

“Yeah, the deal fell through… but wait, how come you already talked to Diane about it? Shouldn’t you be resting?” The words came out a bit more aggressive than Poe intended to and he could hear the annoyance in Armitage’s voice as he responded.

“Calm down – I just needed to know where we stand, Dameron. You’re my coworker, not my GP. I’ll take it slowly but I don’t want to let it flop the second time round, understand?”

Poe had to bit his tongue to not blurt out that his health was way more important than some stupid business agreement but he didn’t want to get in an argument with him – at least not so soon after he was discharged from the hospital. 

“Okay, I have to go now. See ya.” 

The beeping that followed was too loud. Poe put down the phone and rubbed his eyes as more tears found their way out and down his cheeks. There was so much he wanted to talk about, so much he wanted to explain, to know, but his worst fear came true – Armitage took to pretending nothing ever happened between them. He even returned to calling him Dameron, getting back to work as soon as doctors let him go home. Armitage didn’t even let Poe ask if he had anyone to look after him until he was fully healed. 

Poe’s chest ached but there was not much he could do – social distancing rules were still in place and he couldn’t just go outside and visit Armitage. He wanted to see him, touch him… it made him regret that their forced quarantine was over. Some things couldn’t be said on the phone but so far there was no other way of communicating. Poe knew Armitage lived only a couple miles away from him but it might as well be an entire light year. 

  
***

  
Poe lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling. Never before had the queen sized mattress felt so big but without Armitage everything seemed empty and cold. Armitage survived and Poe knew he was supposed to be happy about the fact they were both now virus free but he still felt guilty. He didn’t want to reveal to Armitage it was him who gave Poe the virus because Poe got away without any side effects while Armitage fought for his life. It wasn’t fair but he had to deal with it but Poe was somehow still persuaded that if he hadn’t kissed Armitage, if he hadn’t thirsted after him, none of it would have happened. The worst thing was Poe still couldn’t get rid of those thoughts and no amount of icy water helped him to stop imagining Armitage’s body pressed against his. Poe knew this problem would last as long as the pandemic and only the two of them meeting in person again would solve it. 

  
***

  
His frustration only grew in the next few days as he resumed working. Poe quickly fell back into the old rhythm of planning a new project – the only difference being the meetings were virtual and he did all of his work on the kitchen table instead of the open space office floor. This was not the problem, not even that he missed their espresso machine at work and had to drink disgusting instant coffee (Poe never mastered the art of coffee making, always relying on coffee shops and friends, now regretting not buying something as essential as a decent coffee machine when he moved to the UK). His issue was that as soon as he joined the virtual meeting to discuss the company options in regards to their expansion program being halted by the coronavirus he saw Armitage on his monitor. Poe gritted his teeth – it bothered him the other man took to working so soon after barely recovering from a severe disease. Wisely he decided not to comment on that during the meeting, but as soon as he was done he grabbed his phone again.

“Hi, Dameron. What’s up?” Armitage picked up after a few seconds and the tiredness in his voice only confirmed Poe’s suspicions.

“Can you explain to me why you’re working already?”

“Wow, watch out for grandma,” Armitage laughed and it was joyful and genuine laughter that Poe never heard before. It tore his heart to only be able to hear it on the phone and not right next to him. 

“Don’t worry about me, Dameron, I’m literally lying in my bed. I have food delivered to my front door every day, I don’t go out, I take my medicine as they told me to… it’s okay for me to stare into a webcam for a moment, it doesn’t hurt me or exhaust me too much. I just popped in.”

“I was worried about you, is all,” Poe said and then thought of how much of an idiot he was making of himself. He still hasn’t figured out what he really felt towards Armitage – it wasn’t just physical. “It’s not necessary for you to work until you’re 100% okay, deal or no deal.”

“Hey, Poe. I’m fine. I’m not over tiring myself, okay? Everything is fine."

“You haven’t forgotten my name, wow. I thought the coronavirus damaged your brain,” Poe joked to cover up his affection. He almost caught himself telling Armitage how much he missed him, watching him sit and read his book next to him.

“Funny, I thought the same about you. No, I didn’t forget your name, Dameron, you idiot. Now if you excuse me I have to go and take my good patient afternoon nap. Bye.”

Poe stared at Armitage’s name on the screen for a good minute before he put it on the table with a sigh. He ached for Armitage and it was time for him to admit that he had feelings for the other man and it was more than just friendship or lust. It was raw and real and Poe knew there was nothing he could do about it, not until the curfew was lifted and they were able to actually see each other again. And, fuck the coronavirus, that could take months. 


	15. The Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired, old and crazy - have mercy on me

For somebody else it might not be easy to slip back into their usual routine but this didn’t apply to Armitage Hux. He always found comfort in performing his little everyday tasks with precision and it provided him with a certain sense of stability which was a much needed feeling in these uncertain times.

So he still woke up at the exact same time as he did for the past twenty years since he entered the academy, did a few yoga exercises (although a thought about Poe doing yoga too found its way in), then made his favorite tea and prepared the breakfast, took a shower, made the bed and then cleaned the kitchen. He was used to a perfectly organized schedule with not a second to waste ever since his days at the academy. It almost seemed like it was the only positive imprint his father had on his life, but Armitage didn’t like to think about the past as it only brought up painful memories.

Normally he was happy drinking his tea alone but something wasn’t quite right in the days after he came home from the hospital. Yes, his precious Millicent was not there so feeding her and cleaning her litter box was out of the way but it wasn’t the only thing that appeared to be out of place. It had nothing to do with his health – Armitage was feeling better and stronger everyday even though the doctors cautiously warned him to take his recovery slow. No, something else was bothering him, hidden in plain sight. There was only one mug on the table, one plate with food, just one toothbrush in the bathroom. There were no clothes on the floor, no one playing loud games and complaining and joking around all day…

Armitage tried thinking about something else – he went through all of his unread emails, unpaid bills, cleared out all the stuff that piled during the quarantine and hospital stay but no matter how much he wanted to concentrate on work, reading or literally anything else in the house there was still an underlying feeling something or rather someone was missing. Armitage has always been lonely – or rather alone – he never asked for help, he preferred to work on his own, he never took a friend or a relative on a vacation or a trip. That was until he leant he was supposed to spend a week in Italy with Poe. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to it but then came their involuntary quarantine in terrible and cramped conditions and he simply couldn’t keep his cold and uninviting façade up. When Poe touched him he was ready to crumble and fall hard, but this time into the safety of Poe’s arms. It was an unknown feeling for Armitage but a very pleasant one which surprised him. He never felt safe with anyone before. Not even his own family. 

***

Ever since he was a small boy Armitage understood there was no one he could rely on but himself. His mother died when he was five and Brendol Hux never proved to be a protective and caring parent, on the contrary, he was the one who inflicted the fear of people in Armitage, turning him into a shy and mistrustful person who avoided contact at all costs. Forcing Armitage to enter the same military academy he graduated from turned out to be unsatisfactory for his father – Armitage did not excel in sports, nor physical tests. The only field he was good in was the academic field but it was useless in the brutal company of competitive teenagers all stronger than him. During the first years of living with his father and his wife Maratelle Armitage didn’t comprehend why they didn’t like him or to be honest why they hated him. He did everything in his power to make himself more to their liking – he trained with the trainer Brendol took him to, he dressed the way Maratelle enjoyed seeing, read the books he thought would impress them. But it only got worse with time and went from the occasional slap across the cheek and sending him to bed without a dinner to full on abuse when he turned twelve – cigarette burns on the back of his hands, constant insults, slashes from broken glass, cracked ribs… degrading and humiliating Armitage in front of her influential friends became the favorite pastime for Maratalle and Brendol never moved a finger to stop her from doing it, to stand up for his only son. It only got better when he died of heart failure when Armitage was twenty and already in college. At the memorial Armitage stood next to the casket of his worst abuser with an indifferent expression on his face. There were no kind words he could say about his father. Not one. After the funeral he never met his step-mother again, not caring about the money, family mansion nor the trust fund. All he wished for was to get as far away from the hell of a family as possible and to find a therapist with a strong enough stomach to handle the emotional wounds they inflicted upon him over the years. When Maratelle died several years after Brendol he didn’t even attend the funeral – Armitage just sent his lawyer to collect whatever was left of the family heritage after her extravagant and wasteful lifestyle. Not that he cared much – he lost the will to pretend his ‘family’ was anything but a nightmare a long time ago and was not interested in the money either. By that time he graduated from prestigious university due to his own skills and brains and started a promising career for himself.

***

Poe’s life experience couldn’t differ from Armitage’s more. He lost his mother at a very young age too and worked for the same company. That was all they had in common. Poe was an optimist, bright, always smiling, willing to help, outgoing, talkative, kind, and trustful – everything Armitage never was.

He remembered how he acted as an ass during their work trip leaving Poe alone as soon as the negotiations were over, refusing to go on a walk with him, and hardly letting Poe take him out for dinner. Maybe that’s when he realized it first – the feeling he had around Poe was not animosity nor jealousy. Armitage tried to focus on work again but with a frustrated sight he gave up. He wasn’t back to his full efficiency after being sick for so long and it upset him because his job was his only escape when all the other things didn’t work, when he couldn’t get lost in his books with a cup of tea and Millicent by his side. Now all the books in his house seemed boring, Millicent wasn’t there and … Poe. Poe wasn’t there. That was it. Something changed during their forced quarantine and Armitage started to see Poe in a new light. He never thought about how other people saw him and he never cared either. But when he got drunk and let himself fall apart in Poe’s arms something strange happened – he felt safe for the first time in ages. What should have been the most embarrassing moment of his life now became his fondest. Armitage wished he could get lost in Poe’s embrace once again. Talk about how lost he felt. He didn’t understand why but he needed Poe in his life, in his little isolated world, next to him just as when they were in the quarantine. Needed to touch him and kiss him again, to hear him whisper his name…

***

None of his attempts in the next few days worked out. The books annoyed him. The work was boring and unsatisfying. He almost broke his expensive laptop while trying to focus on the new budget. It didn’t help. The house and the whole world has somehow shifted and without Poe he suddenly found himself unable to function, like a fish thrown out on a beach. He even caught himself dreaming how it would be if he didn’t catch the stupid virus and spent two entire weeks with Poe locked in that terrible small room. Armitage lay in his bed without sleeping all night. He knew Poe’s phone number by heart now but never mustered up enough courage to call him again just to hear his voice, scared that he would disturb the other man. He would have called his therapist if it wasn’t so painfully obvious even his asocial brain was able to connect the dots. Armitage gave up on his unsuccessful efforts to get some rest and went to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water. He looked out the window at the empty street – the curfew was still in force and nobody dared to predict when the precautions would be lifted. Armitage sighed. He guessed he was just always that unlucky as this was the worst time for him to realize he was actually in love with Poe. 


	16. The Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to declare that they are idiots and so am I  
> also there will be an epilogue after this chapter

It was weird being in the office again. Poe thought that the government restrictions would never end but even the coronavirus pandemic came to an end although the battle was all but an easy one. He still had reports of thousands of deaths on his mind when he entered his office building. It was hard avoiding sad news when all aspects of the country and society were affected by the coronavirus aftermath. Life was going to return back to normal but only very slowly and at a great cost.

After working from home so long Poe almost didn’t recognize half of his coworkers. The coronavirus pandemic changed a lot for most of them – some moved, some decided to continue to work from home, some left the company altogether… he felt like he was gonna have to get used to communicating with people face to face again after the long stay at home. Obviously, there was no ‘welcome back’ party as some of the safety measures were still in place. But it was nice to get out of the apartment once again for something else than walking to the nearby pharmacy and to be among people once again. Poe also missed working in an environment designed for actual work and not his wonky kitchen table from Ikea that wobbled no matter how many times he reassembled it. He walked around the floor, greeted some of his friends and then stopped by Diane’s table. “Hey, boss,” he greeted her casually. It felt nice to be able to talk to people freely just like before.

“Hi, Poe. How does it feel to be back?” she asked with a smile that enhanced her wrinkles. The social isolation must have been tough on her, Poe thought.

“Weird, to be honest with you. But I was just about to ask where Armitage is – I was hoping we’d finally put together that new project we’ve been working on. You know, it’s better to do it in person.”

“Oh, I thought you two were in touch and he told you – he chose to work from home permanently now due to health issues.”

“No, he didn’t mention it yet… probably forgot. Thank you, Diane.”

Poe left her desk quickly to hide his confusion. Yes, he talked to Armitage a lot the past couple of weeks but it was always about the project they were working on and their conversation carried on in an awkward atmosphere of avoiding their shared experience in the quarantine facility. They treated each other very formally and it felt unnatural but Poe didn’t know how to address what happened between the two of them – he needed physical proximity and contact to be able to get it out of his chest, to talk to real Armitage and not just to a web camera. This was not possible until the ban on leaving the house and social distancing rules weren’t cancelled. He hoped that working together and seeing each other again would make things easier. Poe didn’t get why Armitage decided not to come back to work and he set his mind on figuring out why and to finally talk about his feelings.

***

Armitage had no problem working from home – he was disciplined enough to self-control himself to avoid any distractions and he had already created the ideal working space in his workroom so there was nothing stopping him from stepping back to his responsibilities fully once the doctors allowed him to do so. No, his concentration and devotion was not the problem. He was cleared from the hospital without the coronavirus but the long-term effects were still there – he couldn’t walk up the stairs without losing his breath, he had to walk a lot slower than he was used to even when he went just to buy groceries and the yoga proved to be problem now too if he’d try to stretch out properly as he once used to. Millicent was finally able to return home to him but she noticed Armitage wasn’t the same attentive owner as before when she watched him from top of her favorite shelf and she hissed more than she purred now.

The lung specialist he reached out to had only confirmed Armitage’s suspicions – the tissue in his lungs was scarred though they functioned normally. Armitage was reassured that this would get better with time but might never go back to the state before he got infected. Their whole conversation took place on the phone as the hospital provided the doctor with Armitage’s file to examine them so he had no one, not even one of the young and cute nurses, to comfort him. He could say goodbye to long hikes or bike trips he used to take in the past and there was nobody to help him overcome his new conditions but Millie. Armitage loved her but she was not enough of a company – he craved a real human being next to him, telling him everything was going to be okay again, to hold him until he’d cry his eyes out. He knew exactly who’d the person be but somehow he couldn’t force himself to call Poe. Armitage wanted to hear his voice and to have him near but his pride wouldn’t let him do it. He never did the first step to approach someone he fancied – maybe that’s why he’d never been in a lasting relationship (or it could be blamed on his bright red hair which he believed to be deeply unattractive).

Armitage arranged with Diane so that he could stay home and work from there – his health condition proved to be an effective excuse why not to go back to their office and meet with Poe. If he’d found the right words to say to him, he would meet him, but he was worried he’d embarrass himself by not knowing what to say, how to express himself. They talked, obviously, they continued working together but everything was said via a Skype call usually with Diane or someone else joining in too and they only analyzed the projects, budgets and suggestion plans for the expansion – nothing more personal than ‘hi, how are you’ transpired between them.

This went on several weeks which then turned to months. The pandemic passed and people were free to leave their homes again, the shops and restaurants opened and even with the new restrictions, everyone tried to fit into the new post-coronavirus world as best as they could. Armitage had to adjust too – getting used to wearing a face mask every time he had to go out, shopping for essentials on the internet rather than going to town… and trying to muster up enough courage to pick up his phone and call Poe, really call him, talk to him and… Armitage wasn’t able to think his plan through. What would he say? Would he ask Poe out on a date? Would meeting him somewhere public count as a date? Just thinking about it almost gave a heart attack. He’d never felt so helpless in his life and he didn’t like the feeling but he had nobody to turn to for advice. Having sibling was something Armitage never had the chance to experience (and he thanked god that Brendol Hux didn’t have more children to torture) but he’d love to have a sister to turn to and ask her for advice. But not all hope was lost. His phone started ringing one afternoon. The number belonged to Poe Dameron and Armitage’s heart almost jumped out of his chest as he hurried to pick it up, being followed by Millie’s disapproving gaze. Surely, he must have looked like a fool in her eyes when he stumbled over the couch to grab the phone from the end table and stammer when he agreed to see Poe over the weekend.

***

It was probably the first time in his life that Poe was nervous before meeting someone. He’s always been confident, believed he could talk his way out of any unpleasant situation or date, charm just about anyone. Damn, he could seduce a stone if he put his mind to it. But seeing Armitage for the first time since their kiss made him more nervous than when he lost his virginity at seventeen. Yes, they agreed to just hang out at Armitage’s house and watch some more Netflix but Poe correctly guessed Armitage never heard of the phrase ‘Netflix&chill’ or he would have never agreed to this. Not that he intended to go straight to the chill part – he most certainly would not object if it came to that but he needed to respect Armitage’s boundaries and the fact they still barely knew each other even after the time they spent locked together.

So on a rainy Saturday afternoon he found himself standing in front of one of those cute little Victorian houses that littered the outskirts of London. Poe rang the doorbell and tried to look relaxed although he felt the exact opposite. First thing was he had no idea what to bring and it seemed rude to visit someone empty handed. Were it any other of his friends, the answer would be easy, but Poe knew (better than he wished to) Armitage didn’t drink wine, chocolates didn’t seem to fit with his lifestyle and it was weird to give flowers to a man. The book would be a most suitable choice but it would be unfortunate if Armitage already owned it. Poe knew he could probably ask Amber for advice as she worked with Armitage longer but he’d rather eat his own toe than admit it to her. In the end he settled on another member of Hux’s household who was a lot easier to shop for – Poe stopped in one of those high-end pet stores and bought a couple of overpriced luxurious cans of tuna and a feather cat toy which cost more than he’d expected of a rod with a string tied to it. But he kept in mind that a happy pet equaled a happy owner and decided Millicent was the way to get to Armitage’s heart.

“Hello, Poe. Come in,” Armitage welcomed him. He seemed nervous too and that was a strange relief for Poe – he was not alone in this predicament

“Hi. This is a really lovely place. Very cute.” There was no intention to mock the house in Poe’s voice, he simply considered those tiny English buildings more suitable for dolls than people of Armitage’s height. Luckily the other man didn’t hear it or didn’t notice as he led him back to the living room with a surprisingly modern furniture and unsurprising amount of books. A ginger cat graciously sat on top of a dangerously looking pile in the corner.

“So this is Millicent. Can I pet her?” Poe asked, curious to get to know Armitage’s only friend.

“Yeah, but watch out, she bites,” Armitage chuckled. There was no reason to be afraid – Millie immediately decided Poe was her new favorite person and rubbed against his legs, purring loudly. Poe sat down and started playing with her, letting her chase the toy he brought.

“Wow, seems like you won her over.” Armitage just looked at them with raised eyebrows. “Would you like some tea?” “Thank you, but …. No” Poe said.

“I have to admit I’m not a tea type of person and yes, crucify me, because I live in England now and I don’t even drink tea.”

“No, don’t apologize, I understand,” Armitage laughed and it was the same genuine sound that Poe enjoyed hearing before. He sat on the couch next to them and started scratching Millie mindlessly.

“What are we gonna do? Is watching Netflix still the plan? We could see the new action flick with Chris Hemsworth, I have it on my to-watch list. Reviews are pretty good,” Poe suggested, looking at Armitage. He just shrugged his shoulders so Poe went with it.

About thirty minutes into the movie Poe felt like a teenager on a first date. He could almost see the electricity crackling between them and felt Armitage furtively staring at him every other minute. Millicent decided the best place for her to take a nap was between them so every time Armitage stroked her he touched Poe’s leg too, seemingly unaware of the effect it had on Poe. Maybe he did it unintentionally but Poe remembered their kiss and would swear this situation felt the same. He wasn’t sure what the movie was even about, all he could think about was the man next to him, his soft hair and pale skin, long fingers combing through hair… Poe looked at Armitage and saw what he took as an answer to his unvoiced questions. Armitage cheeks were red and his eyes glazed and unfocused. Yes, he was sure now. Poe unceremoniously pushed Millicent away as he leaned to kiss Armitage. The cat meowed in protest but unfortunately her owner was too busy kissing and touching Poe, grabbing his hair and pressing him closer, holding on to him as if he never wanted to let him go.

“Poe…” he whispered into Poe’s ear in between hungry kisses.

“Don’t. Don’t say anything.”

“But I want to explain, we have to talk…” Armitage protested.

“We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to and I don’t want to talk right now, I want to keep kissing you if you allow me.”

This time Armitage had nothing to say and Poe was happy. Yes, they needed to go over so many things that just imagining it made him sick. But all of it could wait for later. Holding Armitage in his arms couldn’t. 


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank all of you for staying with me until the very end, inspiring me and encourageing me all the way - this is the longest ff I ever wrote in English and not in my native language! Obviously I wouldn't be able to do it without the help of my beautiful best friend and beta-reader @seeyouwithyourlaughterlines
> 
> I hope you'll join me for another Gingerpilot adventures after this story and mostly for GingerPilot Week 2020!

Old habits die hard and Armitage Hux was no exception to this saying. He still kept waking up at 6:30 am sharp every day despite his new living conditions. As soon as his eyes snapped open he reached out over Poe’s back to check the time and yes, it was half past six in the morning as usual. He knew he wouldn’t get more sleep, unlike Poe, who was able to fall asleep anywhere and anytime but he still decided to stay in bed longer and relish in the warmth of his boyfriend’s body. Nowadays he gets to enjoy the comfort of having someone next to him every night. However he had to invest in a new, larger bed as Poe turned out to be able to occupy most of its surface despite being shorter than Armitage. It surprised him how Poe could sleep so carelessly, spread across the entire mattress with feet hanging off of the edge without fear of monsters biting them off. Armitage had to be covered down to his toes all the time or he wouldn’t sleep at all. But it wasn’t the only weird thing Poe did that he had to get used to. There were few more.

If Armitage ever regretted inviting Poe to live with him for the sake of not having to pay rent for the tiny disgusting apartment he used to live in, he never let it show. Sure thing was that Poe’s clothes filled the entire guest bedroom and his PS4 and other unidentified game consoles took up the space where his precious book previously lay on the shelves but otherwise there was not much to complain about. Millicent quickly figured out having one more human slave she could beg for treats from would vastly benefit her so she accepted Poe as a new member of their tiny household. It made Armitage chuckle every time he saw them cuddling together and even a little bit suspicious the sneaky cat was trying to steal his boyfriend. She still showed her affection by biting and scratching both of them, so that hasn’t changed for sure.

Had anyone told Armitage six months ago he would live with Poe Dameron and share bed with him, he’d laugh at them, maybe considerately slipping them a contact for his psychiatrist. When he suggested it Poe gladly accepted but Armitage still had doubts. He worried that he wanted Poe to live with him for selfish reasons, to have someone around at all times because after the quarantine and long isolation he was scared to be alone. His health condition has been steadily improving but there was the ever-present fear his lungs would collapse again and he would require immediate assistance. Armitage never wanted to experience the pain he felt back in the hospital again. It was not his only concern. He was anxious that his previous experiences and insecurities would get between them and halt their relationship in its start. But Poe was thoughtful and considerate right from the beginning, understanding when Armitage had a difficult time talking about his past and opening his old wounds, speaking up only little at a time.  
Everything they did together was his first – sharing a house, sharing a bathroom, sharing a bed every night and nightmares and anxiety attacks came with it. The quarantine was just a small taste of the extent of Armitage’s issues and Poe had to learn how to deal with it. Armitage was growing tired of having to face his problems alone and even though he felt embarrassed each time he woke up screaming in the middle of the night, Poe’s reassuring presence helped him to get on a path to healing.

***

“You know, I’ve been thinking if it’s time we tell people in the office we’re officially a couple.” Armitage asked one day over dinner.

Neither he nor Poe were very good cooks but their cooking skills improved when they worked together. Poe usually bought a lot of American stuff he had no idea about but it tasted good while Armitage tried to learn classic European cuisine to impress his partner who seemed a little bit ignorant and would rather order pizza than eat asparagus risotto. One night Armitage managed to make pasta with sauce that tasted good even though it probably deviated too much from the original recipe to be called Italian.

“I think they already know,” Poe chuckled over his plate. “Well, at least Amber does. She couldn’t keep a secret even if she wanted to and I know for sure she does not want to.”

“What does that have to do with Amber?” Armitage frowned. The pasta tasted too bland. He should have added more garlic.

“She knows about us already,” Poe said relaxed as if it was nothing. Armitage’s face turned red.

“How the fuck does she know? Poe, what did you tell her about us?”

“You know… I kept calling her when you were sick to find out which hospital you were in. I couldn’t hide it from her – she would have figured it out on her own anyway. She’s not blind either.”

"Well, that’s also entirely your fault,” Armitage mumbled. He hated when Poe ‘borrowed’ his ties or other accessories and was secretly happy he couldn’t steal clothing items from him, because they had different sizes. If Poe ever showed up to a meeting in the office wearing one of his shirts he would enter the witness protections program straight away, grow out his hair and move to New Zealand.

This was one of the issues in their relationships they had to overcome – Poe was very open in showing his affection publicly, he loved holding hands and didn’t mind kissing in front of other people. Such behavior was foreign to Armitage whose strict upbringing and military academy later never taught him to express his feelings. But he was willing to work on compromises with Poe and got better at it, even feeling a little gleam of pride when he walked down the street with his handsome partner (although he learned later from one of their coworkers people stared at them because of the Millie’s ‘love’ scratches on their arms, not because they were a gay couple walking together in a park). Apparently being gay was not as shocking as he, or rather his father, thought to be because even Poe’s dad Kes was excited about them and was very happy to hear updates on their life together on weekly Skype calls. Knowledge that someone wholeheartedly supported them left a fluttering feeling in Armitage’s stomach and that was new too. But he wouldn’t say he couldn’t get used to it as it was very nice.

***

“Don’t forget to check those new flight regulations. Damn the crazy rules, I want your dad’s journey to be as smooth as possible,” Armitage shouted at Poe one evening several months later.

They agreed a while ago it was finally the right time for Kes Dameron to visit them. All it took were some necessary adjustments to the guest room which turned into Poe’s closet, gym and storage space because Armitage was adamant about not letting him into his neatly organized work room and Poe apparently suffered from a reverse OCD and had all of his stuff lying around sloppily. But after a couple of arguments (or rather disagreements) about the usage of the spare room, the place was finally ready to welcome the older Dameron. Armitage would rather bite his own tongue off than admit it in front of Poe but he really wanted his father to like him. After the disappointment that was his own father he needed the validation coming from a real father figure in his life – or so his therapist told him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do it tomorrow,” Poe replied as he entered the room holding a glass of wine for himself and a cup of tea for Armitage.

Some aspects of their lives obviously haven’t changed that much.

“Before you berate me about forgetting about it, I already set a reminder on my phone and even wrote it down in that wasteful paper journal you gave me for Christmas.”

“Yeah, it’s not my fault you’re a forgetful troll, Dameron. You damn well know you need that diary because you’re gonna lose your phone one day too. It’s a good thing to have a backup on paper,” Armitage teased Poe. His sense of humor clearly didn’t suffer any damage when he had the coronavirus.

"You know what else would be great to have on paper?” Poe asked with sudden seriousness. He sat next to Armitage and looked him straight in the eyes. Poe’s intense gaze almost scared him.

“What are you talking about?”

“About a marriage certificate… Armitage, I want us to get married when my dad is here visiting.”

An astonished silence filled the space between them. Armitage took in a deep breath.

“Is this… a proposal? Are you proposing to me right now, Poe Dameron?”

“Yeah… I guess so,” Poe stuttered.

This wasn’t the reaction he expected but it wasn’t a well thought out plan after all. He wanted to leave and let the awkward silence fall out but Armitage’s hand on his arm stopped him. He leaned in closer so their foreheads were almost touching.

"First thing – you are crazy, Poe Dameron. Second thing – yes, I want to marry you one day. And third thing – couldn’t you at least buy me a ring and get down on one knee? Shame on you!”

The tears which started to well up in the corners of Poe’s eyes finally found their way out after Armitage’s answer. Not that either of them noticed. They were too busy kissing and professing their love to each other under the disapproving glance of Millicent who demanded her dinner to be served on time. She really hoped those idiots would feed her more often once they’d get married.


End file.
